Yours jokes

Peter: *curses*

Sam: Wow, do you kiss your mom with that mouth?

Peter: Jokes on you, I don't have a mom.

Tony: *having a heart attack* AFSJDHFKJJD Peter, we talked about this!!!

Guys, can we stop this stupid drama? I just wanna post my "Doin' Your Mom" lyrics and funny jokes! Please stop it!

I ate all of your mommy's orphans.

Boy: "Mister, can I get candy?"

Mister: No, you shit head.

Boy: Why? :(

Mister: Because I'm not your dad.

You're so fat your ass has 2 zip codes.

Brother: Your nuts!

Sister: What do you mean? You're the one that has the nuts!

Your mom's like a candy machine; she pops out for anybody.

A girl looked in the fridge. She got mad that somebody ate the last ice cream cone. She ran into her sister's room and said, "This is why you're fat!" Then fell down the stairs. Good thing she had that belly roll to save her.

What's the difference between your dad and the mailman? Nothing.

Hey, I broke up with your girl.

-Me: What? Why?

Wait, what?

-Me: You f**ked her, so it's your baby.

Your butt looks so big, it's bigger than Sam Hill.

Are you beef?

Because you're Carlos-Asada.

What's the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?

Refrigerators don't queef when you pull your meat out.

Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says to the other, "What do you think about that mad cow disease?"

The other replies, "Well I don't have to worry about it. You're talking to a telephone pole."

Two sticks of butter walk into a butter bar. One says to the other, "Aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?" He replies, "Sure, dis my butter from another utter."

Your mum lol teehee!

When it is quiet when you're having sex and you ask your partner to "Do the roar!"

You are American when you walk into the bathroom, and you are American when you walk out.

But do you know what you are when you're in the bathroom? European.

Person: Where's your mom and dad?

Orphan: :(

If you're ever bored, beat up an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?