Yours jokes

When God made Chinese, he said, "DON'T LOOK!" and the Chinese said, "Why?"

And God replied, "You won't want to be fruitful and multiply if you saw where you are putting that thing."

It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.

When God made White Man, he said, "NEVER SHUT YOUR EYES!" and the white man said, "Why?"

And God replied, "You need to keep an eye out for the Chinese, one day they will out number you."

It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.

Then the white man said, "There is a white genocide!"

And the survivors of the Holocaust said, "All these Europeans killed each other, so a white genocide is accurate. White killed white."

Then the Chinese said, "Thank you, we take your land now."

And the Jews said, "But we are God's chosen people!"

And the Chinese said, "Yes, every time God show up you get bullied! You might want to worship someone else!"

And the Jews said, "Why are you Chinese so lucky, you can't even see, you blind!"

And the Chinese said, "Jesus say be in the world not of the world, so don't go looky looky at the world then."

It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.

Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up. Class: *no one stands up* Teacher: Oh c'mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room* Little Johnny: *stands up* Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you're dumb? Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you're standing alone.

Your hairline is so far back that the United States got a front row seat!

Waitress: You wanna box for your leftovers?

Me: No, but I'll arm wrestle you for the check.

What do guns and gum have in common?

When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.

Your hairline goes so far back you have to wear sunscreen.

Your mom is so fat that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Your hairline looks like the Batman symbol.

My friend wanted to say egg puns, so I told him, "Omelette you do your egg jokes."

Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale the scale said: "You gained another pound, nice going fatso, a few more ounces and you can qualify for your own zip code!"

Your momma so ugly, when the Kool-Aid man burst in the door, he said, "Oh no!"

I dated a lot of girls before I married my wife. I was living with one of them when I arrived home one day to find her bags packed and next to the door. I asked her, "Baby, what's going on?" She said, "I'm leaving you."

"But why?" I replied.

"Because you're a pedophile!" she answered.

"That's a pretty big word for a six-year-old," I said.

A man was on the street and went up to a kid wearing rags. The man asked, "Hey, are you an orphan?"

The kid said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"

The man said, "Your parents."

Your mama so ugly, when Santa Claus came to her house and saw her, he said, "HO HO HOLY SHIT THAT'S ONE UGLY BITCH!"

If you tried to look at your hairline in a mirror, it would shatter into 100,000,000,000 pieces.

What did the skeleton say to the genderless child? "You're fucking dead, mate."

Don't take my posts seriously, take them like your ex took you—as a joke.

How do you know if you're making a Caesar salad? Stabbing it 23 times.

Your mamma's so stinky that perfume leaks where she puts it on.

1. Your face is so ugly, I thought it was deformed. It probably was anyways.

2. Even if Donald Trump had time to build a wall, it was probably so you won't squish us with your fatass.

If someone says your face is deformed, just say that's what happens when I look at you.

Welcome.