Yours jokes

If you're feeling numb, use your thumb.

Guy: Hey, Siri, I failed my final exams, can you cheer me up?

Siri: What’s the difference between you and your grandma? Your grandma passed!

Your hairline goes so far back, even the Proclaimers wouldn't walk there.

Your mama's so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it said, "To be continued."

Your mama is so fat that when she went to run in a yellow jumpsuit, the kids thought they missed the school bus.

Jake: Can I go outside?

Mom: Did you clean your room?

Jake: No.

Mom: Then f*ck no.

Jake: Alright, bet.

(Brother named No)

I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

Your mama is so stupid. She fell off a bike and didn't know which way to fall!

Your mama is so old, her first Christmas, she was a Wiseman's +1.

Your mama is so fat, by the time I swerved to miss her with the car, I ran out of gas.

Your mama is so fat, the wall couldn't support her picture.

Your mama is so fat. She gets winded just thinking about running.

Your mama is so stupid, Patrick Starr ran away because he thought she might be contagious.

Your hairline is so wonky that it looks like the McDonald’s sign.

But your mom's the best, the super M.I.L.F.

I know a good airplane joke, but it will probably go over your head.

Twin Towers: "No, it won't."

What did the triangle say to the circle?

You're pointless.

Hello, This is Jimmy from Jimmy's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic! Your next loss is our next sauce! How many pizzas do you need?

You're so much like a marshmallow, you're so squishy and sticky, and everyone puts their sticks inside of you.

It’s like Sonic always says, “If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?”