Yours jokes
Did you get your phone from the desert? No wonder why your texts are always so dry.
Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”
What did the rapper say to the microphone?
"You're my closet confidant!"
Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister.
Your hairline is so far back, scientists consider it a ninth planet.
Pov:You start writing son lyrics because you can't stand up for yourself knowing you've lost
Your mama is so old, her first Christmas, she was a Wiseman's +1.
Your mama is so fat, by the time I swerved to miss her with the car, I ran out of gas.
Your mama is so fat, the wall couldn't support her picture.
Your mama is so fat. She gets winded just thinking about running.
Your mama is so stupid, Patrick Starr ran away because he thought she might be contagious.
Guy: Hey, Siri, I failed my final exams, can you cheer me up?
Siri: What’s the difference between you and your grandma? Your grandma passed!
What did the beat say to the rapper?
"You're off rhythm, but I'll give you a hand!"
Your mom is so fat Thanos had to snap twice.
Your mum (mom) so fat, she wore a yellow T-shirt, they said "Taxi!"
Your hairline is so wonky that it looks like the McDonald’s sign.
Your forehead and your hairline must be old friends, because they go way back.
Your forehead and hairline are like friends; they go way back.
What’s worse than banging your sister?
Having to wear your dad’s wedding ring.
What's your mom and a dog got in common?
Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.
"One man's trash is another man's treasure" is a great thing to say to someone; horrible way to find out you're adopted.