Yours jokes

What is the difference between a microwave and a gay guy?

A microwave doesn’t brown your meat.

Teacher: Students, tomorrow bring your parents to the open house.

Student one orphan: I don't have any.

Student 2: What is the difference between you and an escaped prisoner?

Student one orphan: What!

Student 2: The prisoner gets picked.

Can you make me a bowl of cereal? Oh wait, your dad never came back with the milk.

You know you’re getting fat when you sit in the bath, and the water in the bath rises.

85% of us are good at school, while the other 15% is good at suicide.

(Teach me your ways, 15%.)

One day a guy named Carson is called a jerk, and he says, "I went to a party with my girlfriend, and this random guy walks up to us and says, 'Can I borrow your girlfriend for 30 minutes?' I say yes, and he takes her upstairs. It was not only 30 minutes, but an hour. When she came back down, she was out of breath, so I knew it was a pretty intense conversation." This happens about 3 more times that night.

But as I was saying, only a nice guy would let his girlfriend make friends with other guys. 😊😇

"Number 15: Burger King foot lettuce. The last thing you want in your Burger King burger is someone's foot fungus, but as it turns out, that might be what you get."

Your dick is as flat as your grandma's heart rate.

My dad was a roof cleaner and I'm dedicating this to him, so dad, if you're up there!

Aiden's the best, in any contest, and no matter what, he'll kick your butt!

I make weed disappear, what's your superpower?

Teacher: "I used to be an orphan once."

Student: "That’s sad."

Teacher: "Anyways, who is away today?"

Student: "Your parents."

What do you tell your butt cheek when you need to use the bathroom? "Hold it in, so you won't get constipated and die."

You're so ugly Bob the Builder cat can fix you.

Friend 1: What's your favorite drink or food?

Friend 2: Pizza.

Friend 3: Donuts.

Friend 4: I don't eat food but I do drink bleach.

Friend 1: (calling the suicide hotline)

Friend 2: (Calling the parents)

You're hairline is like I was so fat Dora the Explorer couldn't find your numbers!

Attention everyone. Please look at the comments and click the link. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Your mom said I was ugly. I told her she couldn’t see her belly button because she was so fat. She said, “I thought I was the only one without one!”

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Your dead son.

I pushed an orphan and they said, "I'm telling!" I asked, "Telling who? Your parents?"