Yours jokes
What did one orphan say to another? Where's your home?
How do Asian people name their children?
They throw a pan down the stairs.
What would your name be? Msg it to @chelsearosegraham.
Little boy: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
Little boy: Your parents.
What's the difference between a yandere and a gun?
Nothing.
Flip them off the wrong way and you're dead.
I’m here to collect my bounty, what’s your bounty? Your pants.
I fucked your girl.
What’s worse than dropping your ice cream?
The Holocaust.
What's the difference between a T-Rex and your sister? I can't stick my dick in a dinosaur.
Your forehead is so big, I can write an essay on it.
I went into a CS:Go lobby and all I heard for ten minutes straight was, "Act like you're hard, but your dad beat you harder."
Q: How do you know when an Asian broke into your house?
A: Your math homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and 2 hours later he's still trying to back out of the driveway.
Bully: "I bet your dick is so small when you look down in the shower you can't even see it."
Guy: "No, I see your sister's head."
Your mom's just like a penny. Practically worthless, and in everyone's pants.
Your dick is like a shotgun, one cock and you're ready to fire.
Two sticks of butter walk into a butter bar. One says to the other, "Aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?" He replies, "Sure, dis my butter from another utter."
There were 15 ugly guys on a bus. The bus crashed, and they all went to heaven.
God took pity on them and told the ugly dudes they could have one wish. The first guy said, "I want to be handsome." God granted his wish. The second guy said, "I want to be more handsome than the first guy." God granted his wish. The third guy said, "I want to be more handsome than the second guy." God granted his wish, and this continued on and on until the 15th ugly guy. The ugly guy was laughing, really hard. "What is your wish?" God asked him. "I WANT ALL THESE GUYS UGLY AGAIN!!!!!" God granted his wish.
I knew the human race made mistakes, but you're the worst I've seen so far...
Roses are red, your penis is blue, the bed sheet has turned a different color, too.
Does your cat scratch you?
Yeah, I need [to] give him payback, but now he won't respond.
Two cannibals have just captured a man and are about to eat him, so they cook him and lay him on a table. The first cannibal says, "You start at the bottom, I start at the top," so they both chow down.
About half an hour later, the second cannibal says, "I'm having a ball!" Then the first cannibal says, "Then you're eating too fast!"