Yours jokes
"Lemme clap your girl's booty cheeks, daddy papi."
Girl: "How do you feel about abortion?"
Dad: "Ask your sister."
Girl: "I don't have a..."
I think you're eggcellent!
The American salute starts with your hand facing flat towards the ground on your head.
The British salute starts with your hand against your head just like the American salute.
The French salute starts with your hands in the air.
The Saudi salute starts with you being bent over with a camel tongue in your ass.
Your mom has a bone to pick with me.
What goes with chips?
Not your cheese.
Question: "You're-a-American" when you're not in the restroom and when you come out of the restroom. What are you when you're in the restroom?
Answer: European (You're-a-peein')
One man's trash is another man's treasure... Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you're adopted.
Doctor: "You're as healthy as a horse!"
Jimmy: "That's great!"
Doctor: "A horse with cancer."
Ur mum homo.
Spell IHOP, now say 'ness' at the end... 😂 ...I ate your penis!
I'm going to your mom's house. Can you help me, planet?
Spy: Hahaha.
Me: What?
Spy: Time to pick up your mother.
Me: Oh no....
Your Fortnite win rate.
What did the vegetable say to the other before the fight?
Time to beet your maker.
Girl 1: Dad, why is my name Rose?
Dad: Because a rose landed on your head.
Girl 2: Hey, Dad, why is my name Daisy?
Dad: Because a daisy landed on your head.
Boy: Hitddvjkyrefbhhhrurrrr!
Dad: Oh, hey Brick!
You heard a conversation between Sans and Papyrus:
Sans: "Sub bro."
Papyrus: "DON'T 'SUB' ME BROTHER! YOU STILL DIDN'T REDINTEGRATE YOUR PUZZLES!"
Sans: "Easy bro, I have done a ton of work today."
Sans: "A skele-ton."
(Drum effect)
Papyrus: "OH MY GOD SANS!"
Ugh, don't you just hate it when you're having sex and your parents walk in the room and say, "No more dead babies for your mister, we are running low!"
A condom and bungee jumping are exactly alike, if the rubber breaks, you're f**ked.
What did the skeleton say to the genderless child? "You're fucking dead, mate."