Yours jokes
I'm looking for women. Put your height, weight, and bra size in the comments.
Is your fridge running?
Why yes, it is!
Then you better go catch it!
I would make a joke about your sister, but she banged me.
Your maw *microsoft shutting down noise*
Question: Do you know who Candis is?
Answer: Can dis dick fit in your mouth?
1 and 2 fell in love. The 2 said, "You're the only 1 for me!"
So my mom said, "Did you do your homework?" Well, I say yes, and in the hour, I yelled, "This is fake, not real!" 😅😅😅
Your mom gay.
There are two siblings, a little brother and a big brother. Now, the big brother had a girlfriend, and one night they decided to go and have sex. So, the bigger brother goes to pick up his girlfriend one night and take her home. So they get to the bigger brother's house and walk into his room. Now the two siblings shared the room, and they had bunk beds. When they walked in the room, they saw the little brother asleep in the bottom bunk, so they went up to the top bunk to have sex. The big brother says, "Whenever you feel good, say 'lettuce,' and whenever you want to switch positions say 'tomato'." The girl constantly is saying "lettuce, tomato," and then the little brother wakes up. He quietly remarks, "Can you guys stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise all over me."
What do you call a fat bitch that eats cum from used condoms? Your mom!
Someone came to me and said, "Your dad is gay." I just said, "Wait. You know where my dad is? Please tell me!"
Following your dreams is good... especially since you won’t have to worry about them putting any restraining orders against you.
Hey, fatboy, why are you so damn fat?
Because every time I f*** your mom, she gives me a cookie.
Sailors are coming onto the boardwalk and are met by Colonel Sanders. He asks them, "What is your occupation?" They respond, "We are seamen." So he says, "Well, you better wash up 'cause I'm finger lickin' good!"
What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
Time to get a new fence!
A police officer said to a belly button, "You're under a-vest."
Son: “Mom, is there a thing called «friendship» between a man and a woman?”
Mother: “No Son, unless if he’s gay.”
Son: “So your friend is gay?”
Mother with herself: «How did he see me with michael omg if my husband discovered my cheating he will kill me»
Mother: “Mmm.. Yes.”
Father loudly: “YES!!!”
Mother: “What in the hell? Are you gay?”
Father with himself: «Am i an idiot why did i yell?! if she discovered I’m gay and her son was made by Paul’s semens she will kill me»
Father: “No what are saying? I’m just talking with myself.”
*A few hours later*
Mother: “I will go to visit my mother.”
Father: “Me too I will go to visit my mother.”
Son: “Not me too I will go to stud with my friends.”
The mother and the father goes to michael’s house and they found their son playing with Michael and Paul is recording them and saying: «that’s why I love you my actual son oh only if your mother knows».
*The End* :D
At weddings, old people poke me and say, "You're next!" So I do the same to them at funerals.
Your mama so ugly, when Santa Claus came to her house and saw her, he said, "HO HO HOLY SHIT THAT'S ONE UGLY BITCH!"
what happens when you accidentally taught your child to call every man daddy?
you find the real one.