Yours jokes
Your forehead is damn big, Walt was jealous of you.
When you're depressed about the world :( but you remember you will soon die :)
Dentist: Open up, sir.
Me: So... I hate my life, my family, my sisters, my dog, my cat, and I tried to take a bath with my toaster, but my dog took it. That's why I hate my dog. And my cat died trying to chew my rope; it choked... Yea.
Dentist: I... meant your mouth... so I can clean your teeth.
Me: :O Ohhhh, my bad.
Dentist: Do you need help??
Me: Yep.
Dentist: ...
Me: ....
When you push your grandma out of her wheelchair and steal it.
“They see me rollin’, they hatin’.”
Why couldn't your mom make you dinner? Because she's dead!
When your little brother knocks your two Jenga towers you made with his toy airplane,
You: "Hey, stop trying to recreate the Twin Towers!"
Hello, welcome to abortion pizza. Your loss is our sauce.
"Do you have a noose?"
"Nose?"
"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."
"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"
"No."
*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*
Grandma: When we go to a wedding, whispers, "You're next."
At a funeral, I whisper, "You're next."
Your hairline pushed back lookin' like you got slapped up by Will Smith.
To whoever @heil dem anfuhrer is, I hope you know I can’t understand what you’re saying. So next time you get on an American website, please speak English, and I don’t speak whatever European language that is.😊
U mess with goose, he strain out all of your body juice.
U mess with goose, he hang u with noose.
You were sad because your grandmother died.
The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.
You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."
You're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.
You were supposed to be born in the tree.
The sticks were your siblings.
You're so fat that you only know 3 letters: KFC.
You're so ugly that blind people cry when you walk past them.
Your hairline is so far back Sherlock couldn't solve that mystery.
What's still together after all the sh*t they've been through? Your butt cheeks.