Yours jokes

Your hairline's so far back even Bill Nye the Science Guy couldn't use photosynthesis to fix it.

Your hairline is so nonexistent, even the universe couldn't find it.

Your friend walks up to you and shows you a picture of an overweight woman.

What would you rate this woman?

A 7.

Why?

Because 7 ate 9!

When your legs forget how to work after leg day, I can't climb the stairs.

Michael Myers right behind me. Runs like I'm a track star!

At school, this gurl was like, "You're ugly!" And I'm like, "Gurl, your mirror cracks the moment you step in front of it."

Your arms are open. They stretch towards me, Reaching, grabbing, pulling me, Surrounding me, Drowning me in my helplessness. Time standing still, inside here. Looking through windows, time passing by. Let me go, will ya?

Listen, my brothers, if you see a photo of her with another person,

Just go to her house and shoot her with your AK47.

Why is your hairline so put back it's looking like it was slapped by Will Smith and it needs to be fixed?

The plane said to the tower, "You're so cute, I want to come crashing into your arms!"

Peter: *curses* Sam: Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Peter: Ha, joke’s on you! I don’t have a mother.

Tony, having a heart attack: ASFJDHJWNSGREGEJDHFWVWHUSYSG PETER, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!