You're jokes
Skidaddle skidoodle, your dick is now a noodle!
Mrs. Duncan knows where you live. She lives there too. In your basement... lolololololololololololololololololol
Your mom is so fat Santa Claus came down and said, "Ho ho holy shit!"
I saw a kid crying today and asked them, "Where are your parents?"
God, I love working at an orphanage!
Your mom.
A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him, "Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it.
The genie says, "This is your last wish so really make this one count." The guy says, "Well, I've always wanted to drive out to the Hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands." The Genie says, "That is asking for quite a lot and I'm not sure if I can pull that off, is there anything else you'd want?" The guy says, "Well, I've been married and divorced three times, and I just can't understand what I've been doing wrong. I've given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could, but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women." The genie thinks for a few moments and says, "Do you want a three or four lane highway?"
Your forehead is so deep, not even curry can shoot from that deep.
Who comes once a year and makes your kids cry?
Rapey Santa.
"911, what’s your emergency?" I asked, listening to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the other end of the line.
“I think my daddy want to kill me,” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.
If your eyes were the sea, I would drown in them.
Roses are red, flowers are pretty, I heard your mom has a nice pair of titties.
Your hairline is gone because you never bathed or brushed.
How do you get your grass to cut itself?
Make it depressed.
Doctor: Hands husband his baby.
Doctor: I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it.
Husband: Then give me the one she made.
I like it when your mom keeps on top of things.
(Male fantasy)
Yeah, on top of me on the living room carpet, snogging my face off.
When you’re having the best sex in your life and your grandma says, “I’m not dead!”
@ the N-word of your dreams, why you not say nun on the fuckin community? You should talk on ther my g.
Wife: "Hi honey, I'm pregnant."
Husband: "Hi pregnant, I'm dad."
Wife: "No, you're not...."
I saw an orphan on the street. I said, "Where are your parents?" He cried and said, "My mum and dad died in a car crash!" 😆😆😂😂🤣
What's the worst part about burning your vegetables before dinner?
Explaining what happened to the nursing home while you're hungry.