You're jokes
What's the difference between your jokes and your penis? Nobody laughs at your jokes.
The definition of the word "Disappointment" means running into a wall with a boner and breaking your nose.
What goes moo? Cow.
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Your mom is so fat that she works as a hydraulic press in a car factory!
When you're mad, you might as well just punch an orphan because what can they do, tell their parents?
Your mama so ugly that even Rick Astley had to give her up.
What do you call your daughter's boyfriend when he brings her back past 10pm?
An ambulance.
Your dad is so f**king fat that when he bends over and comes back up, it's the next day.
Your mum has balls.
A man is walking on a bridge and sees a lady over the railing.
Man: "Ah, suicidal eh? Are you gonna jump?" Lady: "Yep. I hate this world." Man: "Well, if you're gonna die, can we have sex before you jump?" Lady: "Hell no! You creep!" Man: "Ok, fine. I guess I'll just wait until your corpse washes onto the shore."
Like this if one of your family members is emo!
You're the type of guy to have a whole training arc after a girl wants to fight you.
Your hairline pushed too far back.
Lookin' like it got slapped up by Will Smith :D
What do you call your mom?
Monkey.
Wade, you're a joke. The worst joke.
Hoped this would be a safer, more fun place to talk to my BP friends, but I guess not.
I've also learned that some people think "worst jokes ever" = "terrible unfunny jokes that make light of people who died horribly or otherwise suffered" instead of things like "why did the chicken cross the road?"-type jokes.
Maybe I'm just too old at this point.
My dick is red.
Your pussy's pink.
It's really tight
When you're dead.
Me: What’s that girl’s name from Phineas and Ferb, the sister?
Crush: Candice.
Me: Candice dick fit in your mouth?
Crush: *slaps me, walks away*
What’s the difference between your dad and your hairline?
Nothing, they both ran off.
One night my brother asked me, "Am I a pro gamer?" I said, "No, you're not a Pro-grammer."
Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, and they want to kill them. But the Europeans beg to have their lives spared.
The Native Americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: The Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him.
The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs and the Native American kills him. They both see each other in heaven and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach, and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?"
The second guy says, “Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!”