You're jokes

Your hairline is so far back that it killed the dinosaurs.

I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and then give her blood so she can bleed more.

A fat man coming in the store.

Waiter: Oh god, not again :|

Fat man: Hi, I would like three fries and 19 burgers.

Waiter: Sorry sir, you will get the owner's store out of stock on food. Can I get you a salad instead?

Fat man: Oh sorry, but I'm the owner, and I have a lot of stocks. For the record, you should get yourself my order. You're skinny af, girl. You trying to be a stick or something?

What did the bread say to the peanut butter? "I think your nuts."

Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you're super annoying and won't shut up.

Sike, I lied, your mom is a guy!

The bully says, "Your mom!" The girl says, "Is sleeping with your dad."

What is happening? Which is better: being loved or being hated? State your answer.

One time Little Johnny saw someone in his yard tying a rope to a tree, and he moved the stool and the tree broke. Little Johnny screamed, "HAHA! You're skinny enough to break the tree!"

What's worse than ants in your pants?

Michael Jackson.

Wanna hear a plane joke? Nah, it'll just go over your head.

Your momma is so stupid, when someone said it’s chilly outside, she brought a spoon and bowl.

I guess Neptune is next to Your Anus XDDDD.

Your momma's so fat that she is the Earth!

A drunk man walked out of a bar and kept falling flat on his face. He wondered why this was until his wife spoke to him:

Wife: "Why is your face all bloody?"

Husband: "I was so drunk that I couldn't stand up, so I kept falling on my face!"

Wife: "Idiot. You left your wheelchair at the bar!"

So the man asks me, "Jesus, how do you want your steak?"

So I said, "Well done, my good faithful servant, well done."

You’ll need a bib when you’re done eating my ribs.

What did the lady say to Michael Jackson at the beach?

"Excuse me, you're in my sun (son)."

"This isn't the first time my husband's cheated on me, but you're my sister! You'd better have a better explanation than this magic lamp."

"You know how you have to be specific making wishes? Well, I was really horny and asked the genie to have the world's biggest penis....ended up with a concert pianist that's seven foot tall. Nice guy. Next time I tried, I asked for the world's biggest cock, that was fun but the poor rooster died. So I asked for the world's biggest dick and that's how I ended up on top of your husband."

Doctor: “You’ll be at peace soon.”

Man: “Am I dying?”

Doctor: “No, your wife is.”