You're jokes
If you're happy and you know it, f*** your mom.
Your hairline is so bad, it's not even McDonald's, it's Dixy Chicken!
Coworker: Knock knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Coworker: Not your parents.
*P.O.V orphan wanting to go on school trip/camp*
Teacher: “Can I have your parent's signature? It isn’t filled out.”
Orphan: “Um yeah.... That’s gonna be hard....”
Teacher: “Why?”
Orphan: “I just have to find them first....”
Guy: Are you a vending machine? Because you're a snack.
Girl: Your card got declined.
Guy: That's ok, you got to bang them a few times to get you money's worth.
Before my grandad died, he whispered to me, "Is your uncle still in the basement?" I said he has died. Oh, my grandad said, "I will lock him in heaven's basement."
From your Dad.
I won’t be back for a while, it’s a very long line.
If you get a divorce with your husband, does that still mean you’re siblings?
When you say to your friend, "I've got your back," then at his funeral you see in his coffin he's missing his middle piece.
Your mama's so fat, she runs a trade deficit with food!
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Tell her to slow down and use lubricants.
A few days after her husband’s death, a widow accidentally receives an email from a man waiting for his wife in Spain.
The email reads: "Dearest Wife, just got checked in. Everything [is] prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P. S. It’s really hot down here!"
What the difference between a priest and acne
Acne waits till your 13 to cum on your face
What does a sex offender and Santa have in common?
They will come down your "chimney" tonight.
New teacher: "I was an orphan when I was young."
Student: "But!"
Teacher: "Is something missing?"
Student: "Your parents!"
When your teenager asks for personal space and you remind her that she came out of your personal space.
If your eyes were the sea, I would drown in them.
How to get rid of your depression:
1. Stop self-pitying.
2. Realize you can't.
3. Fucking deal with it.
You're welcome.
Doctor: What is your zodiac sign?
Patient: Cancer, why?
Doctor: What are the chances?
Patient: Of what?
I've tried to like all of your jokes. They are funny 😆 and joshisboss, you are awesome. Keep up the good work 👍!