You're jokes
One day, a man visited an orphanage.
Then he sees a kid crying. The man asked, "Where are your parents?"
The kid cries even harder.
If you're waiting for a waiter at a restaurant, aren't you the waiter?
What’s the length difference between your hairline and Saturn? Nothing.
The popular girl told me, "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!"
Two weeks later, she shows up pregnant.
...
I guess her rubber broke too.
Your hairline is so far back that I hate it! 🤣
You're so much like a marshmallow, you're so squishy and sticky, and everyone puts their sticks inside of you.
(I want to apologize in advance. These are very dark jokes.)
What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
I was going to tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead.
Why does Helen Keller hate porcupines? They’re painful to look at.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
My dick said that your ass is having a boner.
Sister: You're so stupid.
Me: Calling me stupid doesn't make you any smarter!
How do you get a white girl to suck your dick?
Put ranch dressing on it.
How can you make an Otter Pop become funny?
Take your shotgun and make an otter go "pop!"
While fucking a hot auntie, pressing tightly her boobs and fondling, He: What do you feed your babies? She: Milk and orange juice. He: Wow, which side is orange juice? 😋
You're the bus driver. The bus driver picks up twenty kids, drops two, picks up eighty. Drops seven, picks up a woman with green eyes, drops off a man with blue, kicks a kid in the face, and buried his mother.
Who's the bus driver?
You will never nose [know].
What do you call someone who’s blond, beautiful, and listens to what you’re saying, but only hears what they want?
Womxn
Husband: Dammit, Alice! I'm your husband, and I'm telling you that you better stay in this kitchen if you know what's good for you!
Wife: Go to hell, Bob! I'm leaving!
Ignoring my protective advice, Alice stormed out of our underground kitchen, even though it was the safest place to be while the nuclear war still raged outside.
Person: What's your perfect date look like?
Me: Oh, just hanging around in a tree.
Your dad is so smart, he took one look at you and left.
If I were to cut your legs off, would it hurt? Because your legs will be cut off...
Why is reverse cowgirl banned in Alabama? Because you never turn your back on family.
My best friend said, "Can you put your dick in me?" I said, "Can I cum in you?"