You're

You're jokes

Dad

  • I have a friend who doesn't have a dad.

    He says: "You're useless, go to hell!"

    Me: "Wait, why do you want me to join your dad?"

    Student

  • A high school student and his best friend were rushing to class after his best friend caused them both to be late. His best friend asked, "Would you like to hear a joke?" "Sure," he replied. "What do you and your sister have in common?" "I don't know." "Because of me you're both late for your next period."

  • 2
  • Orphan

  • Alright, so I have a few orphan jokes. I'm gonna put them all in one message.

    Why can't orphans be gay? They have no one to call "daddy."

    Why can't orphans go on a field trip? Parent signature: ______

    New teacher: I used to be an orphan as a kid. Students: hahaha Teacher: Is anyone missing? Students: No one, just your parents.

    Why did the orphan become a prostitute? They kept calling everyone "daddy."

    Why do orphans have the iPhoneX? Because it has no home button.

  • 0
  • Condom

  • What are four ways a condom is like a Republican elephant?

    1. It stands for inflation.

    2. It limits production.

    3. It encourages cooperation.

    4. It gives you a feeling of security even though you know you're being screwed.

  • 1
  • Cow

  • What's the difference between your mom and a fat female cow...

    A female cow doesn't have a dick.

    Dad

  • The quiet kid's dad dies. You go, "Knock knock."

    "Who's there?"

    "Not your dad."

    Then he says, "What comes after 47?"

    The quiet kid says, "AK."

  • 0
  • Mama

  • Your mama is so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the concrete cracked up.

  • 0
  • Speed Bump

  • You know that feeling when you're going through a school parking lot and go over a speed bump, then you realize that there are no speed bumps?

  • 1
  • Orphan

  • Teacher: Students, tomorrow bring your parents to the open house.

    Student one orphan: I don't have any.

    Student 2: What is the difference between you and an escaped prisoner?

    Student one orphan: What!

    Student 2: The prisoner gets picked.