You're jokes

Why did the little girl cry twice?

Because you wiped your shitty bloody duck on her favorite teddy bear.

Why did the little girl cry twice?

Because you wiped your bloody shitty cock on her favorite teddy bear.

Kid: Where do I put this paper?

Teacher: I already said go ask your neighbors.

Kid: Ok. *Walks home to his neighbor's house*

Kid: Hey neighbor, I didn't know where to put this paper, and my teacher said to ask you. Do you know?

Neighbor: No, sorry, I don't.

Kid: Okay, bye! *Kid walks back to school.*

Kid: Teacher, my next-door neighbor didn't know.

Teacher: Ugh, you went home?!

Kid: Yes, you told me to!

Teacher: I meant at school!

Kid: Ohhhhhh!

Teacher: Duh!

Do you ever get that feeling where you're just going through a school parking lot, then you realize that there are no parking lots?

You're so fat that you're gonna be my next hamburger for dinner and the next In-N-Out, just like your parents.

Waiter: Can I have your order?

Me: No, it’s mine!

You're gay if you see this.

I rang my boss and said, "I’m really sick. I won’t be coming into work." My boss said, "Davo, you're sick again! Really! Just how sick are you now?" I replied, "Well, I’m in bed with my sister!"

Knock, knock.

Your mom.

If you get out of the shower clean, how does your towel get dirty?

There was an Indian riding in the desert when he saw a little blond-haired white girl up ahead. He heard her crying. So he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her, "Hey, what’s going on? Why are you crying? Where are your parents? What happened?"

The girl said in a crying, sad voice, "The bandidos came, killed my father, my brothers, then my mother, and raped my sister."

The Indian just laughed, untied and dropped his breechcloth, then said, “Guess this isn’t your day, is it?”

What's the difference between a bison and a buffalo?

You can't wash your face in a buffalo.

Someone: "I WANNA BE THE SUN OF YOUR LIFE!"

Me: Then stay at 1,000,000 km of me.

Bully: "Shut up and give me your money, otherwise I will tell everyone that you are still a virgin."

Boy: "Haha, I am not a virgin anymore."

Bully: "Haha, nice joke."

Boy: "If you don't believe then ask your sister or brother."

Bully: "Hah, I don't have any sibling."

Boy: "Will just wait for 9 months then u will know."

Russian Santa Claus- You better watch out, You better not cry, cause if you do I will stab your fucking eye, Russian Santa Claus does not fuck around. He's making a list, He's checking it twice... You better leave out some Vodka with ice!

Your momma is so dumb that when they said it was chilly outside, she came outside with a bowl.

Me: (Jaiden) Why are you crying? Do you know where your parents are?

Orphan: *Sobs* "No."

God, I love working at an orphanage!

Why did the orphan cry when the teacher yelled at him?

Because the teacher said, "Don't make me call your parents!"

Me: "Hey, are your parents home?"

Orphan: "Stop calling here!"

Me in the corner.

I was walking down Main Street when I saw a child.

I told him, "I will give you 20$ if you get my balls back from the vet."

He replied, "Why did they take your balls sir?"

"Beer plus going to the vet does not work well for everybody, especially when you're a furry."