You're

You're jokes

A man is being sued for raping a deaf girl. The judge, showing his pinky:

"You should be ashamed, man, your conscience is even smaller than that!"

The girl, showing her arm:

"Mhhhmmhmm, mhhmhm!"

I swear, in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers can't even win a war. Might as well send all your school shooters over there.

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  • Jesus has died on the cross to take away our sins. He has all power, but he won’t abuse it. He will help us through tough times. Have you ever felt that feeling in you that something is a bad idea? That’s Jesus. He is the savior and never let anyone say different.

    Our Lord will watch us. We will go to Heaven, the promised land, only as long as we believe he’s real and always here. Don’t let anyone speak less and make you disbelieve in our Lord. This is your choice: believe and go to Heaven, or don’t believe and go to Hell, an eternal death. Make a choice.

    Kid: You're so fat!

    Other kid: At least fat can be changed, but your ugly face can't be.

    All of the sudden, if you're Republican, you're racist, and Communism is a symbol of freedom? What happened to the proud men our founding fathers were, damn it!

    I don't care if I got beat the first day you were born. Your momma asked for a receipt!

    Little Johnny's mom got a call from school saying to come over. As she does, she is met by the principal. They go into his office and the principal says, "Your son is going to be suspended for a week for blowing clouds in the bathroom." The mother responds, "He is fifteen, how is he blowing clouds already? Bring him in here." A boy walks in, and Johnny's mother says, "This isn't my son, bring him in here, I would like a word with him." The principal replies, "Ma'am, this is Clouds." The mother faints.