You're jokes
Are you a walnut, because I'm about to nut all over your walls!
Why is it you donate one kidney, you're a hero, but donate four or five and people run and call the police?
A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."
Why use Heathrow when we have your forehead?
Why did your father go away?
'Cause he needs da milk.
What should you never say to a Japanese person? "You're da bomb!"
What did the Deagle say to the G17?
"Son, you're rushing, but in some way, I like it."
Hey Gwen, listen, I know you're on this app, fake or not. I love you either way. Please find this faker and finish her off for what she's done, real Gwen.
*You're a real best Gwen*
Your mom's so fat, she annexed Crimea!
Your mom is so fat she was the reason why the Titanic crashed.
Dad: I'll pay you 10 bucks for every day you don't tell a lie.
Next day:
Dad: Son, what's the ugliest thing you've ever seen?
Son: That ugly face of yours, go get a life, gosh, Dad, you're embarrassing.
The dad sulked for 3 whole years.
Proof that words really can hurt.
If the moon landing was fake, so is your house.
Yeah man, you watch Pornhub, and you have premium too, but at least I don't need Premium to see your mom in bed.
What is the most expensive type of sex you will ever enjoy in your life? The type which will shorten your life by 5 to 10 years.
Roses are red, violets are blue, don't let your kids next to Prince Andrew.
Women say their baby daddies are trash like... woman, didn't he impregnate you and didn't he win your heart? I mean, he's not trash, you are!
Roses are red, violets are blue, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel had wine and cheese while your loved ones died in the ICU.
Yo mama so fat that your mama so fat, mama so fat that, mama so fat that, mama so fat that, mama so fat that, mama so fat that, mama so fat that your mamas just fat.
Your mama is so fat, she sunk Atlantis even though it's in the ocean!
You're so ugly you make the blind kids cry ðŸ˜ðŸ˜