You're jokes
Sonic says if you're ever born, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What's the definition of disgusting?
Sticking 5 oysters up your grandmother and sucking 6 out!
Tell an emo, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"
If your wife says: “What would you most like to do to my body?” “Identify it” is the wrong answer.
Doctor: “You’ll be at peace soon.”
Man: “Am I dying?”
Doctor: “No, your wife is.”
Every time my grandmother and I were at a wedding, she’d say: “you’re next.” So I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.
"You're the bomb."
"No, you're the bomb."
A compliment in the US, an argument in the Middle East.
Man goes to the doctor. He has a banana sticking out of one ear, a carrot sticking out of the other ear, and a green bean sticking out of one nostril.
"Doctor, I'm not feeling well," the man complains.
"Well, it's no wonder," the doctor replies. "You're not eating right!"
Your Mom is so friking fat, that when she ripped her pants and went to the seamster, they said, "We don't sew curtains!"
Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.
And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.
You're adopted, do you want to know why? Because you're so ugly.
What wastes your money as you earn it?
Women.
Your mum is so fat that when she sat on the toilet, she couldn't because her fat ass can't fit on the toilet seat.
How do you get your appeal for rape charges accepted? Say you were expressing your desire for a woman, which is protected under the Constitution in freedom of expression.
Your mom is so fat that when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed, but the sidewalk cracked up.
Balls in your jaws.
A hobo couple is making out under a bridge.
The girlfriend goes: - Johnny, why is your dick so soft? - Flip me over, I’m trying to shit!
What does a blind man and your dick have in common?
They both can’t get up without a dog.
If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are probably built upside down.
Your mother is so fat, she actually went on a diet and started exercising, and I hear she's doing quite well now.