You're jokes

I swear, if I compared the size of your mother and multiplied it by the time your dad was gone, it wouldn't even be close to your hairline.

Me: Mom, the weight scale wants your weight, not your phone number!

Why are you rolling your eyes? Are you looking for your brain?

So things are just too tiring to sort out... like which adoption center you should send your son to?

I'll put white in your smile.

Your teeth are so yellow, you spit butter!

Your hair is receding more than people do when they smell you.

Subway trying to commemorate 9/11: CRASH INTO SUBWAY THIS SUBTEMBER 11TH TO GET 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR ONLY $9.11, THAT'S 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR $9.11 AND WATCH THEM FALL... INTO YOUR MOUTH!

There was this Down syndrome boy that always wanted to be a cop, and he did. He pulled someone over and said, "Know why I pulled you over?"

The guy replied, "Because I was speeding?"

He said, "No, because you're black."

Tell your mom happy last night. 🍆 in my bed.

Your hairline and your eyebrows are social distancing.

"Your ass must be jealous of all that shit that comes out of your mouth."

Guy: "Can I tell you a joke?"

Spiderman: "Yes."

Guy: "You only have 11 months on your calendar."

Spiderman: "Why?"

Guy: *holds up knife* "Because I murdered May."

Your hairline is so crooked that it made Will Smith feel straight.

Your mama is so fat that when she went to run in a yellow jumpsuit, the kids thought they missed the school bus.

Your mama is so fat, when scientists discovered her, they thought it was a new galaxy.

Your mama's so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it said, "To be continued."

Tyler is ugly.

If you are called Tyler, change your name.

There was a guy who got his whole left side shot off.

When he was at the hospital and he woke up, he asked the doctor if he was okay.

The doctor said, "You're all right now."

What do your BF and the Twin Towers have in common?

They both never get erect.