You're

You're jokes

An orphan boy at my school did really badly on a test and started crying. I said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”

Mom: That's why your dad left you.

Me: Why?

Mom: I mean look at you, depressed, suicidal, and unhappy, always anxious, and other mental health issues.

Me: How is that my fault? You are a rude mom!

Mom: Your dad had a heart attack two weeks before you were born, because you are ugly!

(This actually did happen in real life.)

My friend and I were joking about a kid in a wheelchair, and another kid came up and said to the wheelchair kid, "You should stand up for yourself."

I once saw a kid walking down the street crying. So I asked them, "Hey kid, where are your parents?" And he started to cry even more...

"Huh. I wonder why he was so sad..." I said as I walked into the orphanage.

If you're ever bored, try scaring the sh*t out of an Asian to see their eyes open for the first time.

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    • What's the difference between a low tide and your hairline?

    Nothing, they're both receding.

    If someone is bullying you for being fat, remember, you're the bigger person, a MUCH bigger person.

    Teacher on school bus, "Everybody sit down now, the bus is about to start."

    Ben: "I’m not going to sit down. I don’t want to."

    Teacher: "You have to, or else you have to get off the bus."

    Teacher: "*stands up*"

    Ben: "Then you should get off the bus 'cause you're not sitting."

    I will make a funny joke if you let me be your boyfriend. I'm 19 and I am Russian.

    (Bully) Boy, you ugly!

    (Me) Boy, shut up, that's why your hairline start at the back of your head.

    Why did the orphan girl cry during sex?

    Because her boyfriend said "Who's your daddy?"

    BAJAHAHAHHAA