You're

You're jokes

Breast

29 views ·

A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes. Eventually, the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive."

Man

19 views ·

A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."

War

13 views ·

"Remember, switching to your pistol is always faster than reloading."

- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.

Mother

26 views ·

"Jesus can turn water into wine, but I can turn your mother into mine."

- Sun Tzu, *The Art of Creating War*

Lag

35 views ·

"If your enemy is kicking your ass, blame it on the lag."

-- Sun Tzu, The Art of War

Weight

4 views ·

When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"

Nut

4 views ·

Friend A: Do you like Wendy's?

Friend B: Yes, why?

Friend A: Wen-dez nuts in your mouth!