Your mom jokes

Your mom's been giving me attitude lately, so I told her to shut her mouth. When she did, it caused me to lose 4 inches.

What did your mom say last night? "Go harder!"

Your mom is so fat, when she swam in the sea, Wales came up to her and said, "We are family, even now you’re fatter than me."

Your mom's my dad. Think about that!

You want to hear a joke?

Your mom.

Your mom's a whore, and so are you!

Johnny was watching TV when he heard them say "bitch" and "bastard," so he asked his dad, "What is a bitch and bastard?"

Dad said, "A bitch is a female, and a bastard is a male."

Then Johnny goes back to the TV and hears them say "ass" and "shit," so he asks his dad what "shit" and "ass" means. Dad says, "A shit is shaving cream, like what I'm putting on my face, and ass is a coat. Why don't you bug your mom?"

So Johnny goes back to the TV, and then they say "fuck," so Johnny asks his mom what "fuck" means. Mom says, "Fuck means carving, like doing to the turkey." Then a few minutes later, Johnny hears a knock on the door, so he answers it. He then says, "Welcome, bitch and bastard, may I tack your ass?" The people then ask where his parents are. Johnny says, "My dad is putting shit on his face, and my mom is fucking the turkey."

Your mom is so fat that the photographer had to go to the moon just to click the photo of her belly button.

Is your mom a virgin?

Mine is.

How am I alive?

You tell me.

When your mom tells you there's a present in the laundry room,

The present: Laundry.

*gunshot*

Your mom gave me a three course meal last night:

Starters - Foreplay

Main course - Reverse Cowgirl

Dessert - Blowy

Won't forget the side drink of an individual on individual bukkake.

Your mom was born in a dumpster, as well as you.

Evan, me and your mom are done with you.

Your mom gay.

What do you think of your mom? I have to go now and tyyyytt.

1. Are you talking to me because I think you talked to my backside?

2. Your mom must taste good because it is always in your mouth.

3. My foot lasts longer than your life.

What's the difference between a suicide bomber and your mom?

A suicide bomber doesn't abort their mission like your mom did when she had you.

What do you think of your mom? I can do it.

Your dad is your mom.

Guys, can we stop this stupid drama? I just wanna post my "Doin' Your Mom" lyrics and funny jokes! Please stop it!