Your mom jokes

Your mom is heavier than Mariah can even carry.

"When your mom is pregnant and your best friend learns dad jokes."

Me:.....

Mommy, when will daddy come back?

I'm not your mom...

When the quiet kid tells you not to go to school the next day, but your mom makes you go anyway.

Your hairline goes so far back your mom can't even reach it.

My friend: "Ya mama so stupid, she sits on the TV and watches the couch!"

Me: "That joke's older than your mom!"

Your mom! Oh wait, you don't have one.

You're gay.

Bro, I am straighter than the pole that your mom dances on for me every night.

Your mom is so old, she turned to dust before Thanos snapped.

One day, little Sally hears the phone ringing. She picks it up.

"Hello, this is daddy, Sally. Is your mom nearby?"

Sally says, "No, she's upstairs with Uncle John."

"Uncle John? I don't know an Uncle John."

"No, no, no, you must be mistaken, daddy."

"No, I'm sure there's no one named Uncle John in our family."

"Okay, but why did you call?" Says Sally.

"Ummm, no reason, just tell mommy that daddy's pulling into the driveway right now."

"Okay daddy!"

*long pause*

"Okay daddy! I did it!"

"Great job Sally! What did she say?"

"Mommy said OH FU.. and then she ran around with no clothes on and tripped on the carpet and hit her head on the bookshelf. She's now resting it looks like... then Uncle John screams and jumps out the window into the swimming pool, but of course we took all the water out this winter..."

Then dad replies "Swimming pool? We don't have a... is this 468-1843?"

When you ask your mom for candy but you grab from the wrong drawer...

Your mom is so fat, when she asked, "What gift will I get?" Abuela from Encanto said, "Definitely Taco Bell!" 🌮🔔

What should you never say to an orphan?

"Your Mom."

Your mom is so fat, she starts with the letter O in the alphabet because O.B.C.D. (Obesity).

Your hairline goes so far back that even your mom couldn’t see it.

Your hairline is so big it took your mom a map to find it.

Kids when they meet a kid out of home alone be like: “At least your mom came back!”

Your mom checked for your hairline, but she could not find it.

Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.

When my bro says "YOUR MOM" when I'm talking when I'm at school, and my friend says "YOUR MOM," me punches him;-;