Your mom jokes

Johnny was watching TV when he heard them say "bitch" and "bastard," so he asked his dad, "What is a bitch and bastard?"

Dad said, "A bitch is a female, and a bastard is a male."

Then Johnny goes back to the TV and hears them say "ass" and "shit," so he asks his dad what "shit" and "ass" means. Dad says, "A shit is shaving cream, like what I'm putting on my face, and ass is a coat. Why don't you bug your mom?"

So Johnny goes back to the TV, and then they say "fuck," so Johnny asks his mom what "fuck" means. Mom says, "Fuck means carving, like doing to the turkey." Then a few minutes later, Johnny hears a knock on the door, so he answers it. He then says, "Welcome, bitch and bastard, may I tack your ass?" The people then ask where his parents are. Johnny says, "My dad is putting shit on his face, and my mom is fucking the turkey."

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Your mom.

Fuck you you rwind my life.

What's the difference between a hoe and a prostitute?

One is a tool. The other is your mom.

What is the best part about eating cake? Your mom.

I like your mom naked.

Your mom has quite the mouth on her.

As I found out last night. Oh, what a night!! 😏 😉 😜

What do you think of your mom? I have to go now and tyyyytt.

What did your mom say last night? "Go harder!"

Hey, fatboy, why are you so damn fat?

Because every time I f*** your mom, she gives me a cookie.

"Doin' your mom, doin', doin' your mom."

I was ridin' your mom like she was Mario Kart!

I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song, cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mom.

I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.

Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.

You know we straight with doin' your mom.

Cause she knows how I like it, and that I’m a little young to be in the bed, butt-naked doin' your mom.

Your mom has a bone to pick with me.

YOUR MOM sucks my dick 24/7.

What's your mom and a dog got in common?

Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.

What does your mom say when she is working?

Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.

Your mom is so stupid, she stopped at a stop sign because it never said "go."