You jokes
"Where are you? [Because you] make me wanna throw up every time I see you."
This is nothing to do with 9/11, but this is my best joke.
What do you call a Paki in a microwave?
Pting pting pting.
Me: Doctor, can I get a new butt? My old one has a crack in it.
Doctor: I told you a billion times already. Everyone's butt has a crack in it.
Me: How do you know that?
Gwen just wanted to let you know you suck like a lot, you are a loser. 🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣😬😬😬😬😏😏😏😏
Perfect dinner joke.
Did you hear about the new movie, "Constipated?"
It hasn’t come out yet.
Memes
Have you seen the inside of Helen Keller's houses? She hasn't.
Son: Mom, can I get $100 for a week?
Mom: Why do you need $100 for a week?
Son: I'm going on a date, and I need $100 for a week, please.
Mom: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Go on your date now. You got $1, so go.
Son: And you got $0.00.
The best part of you ran down your mother's leg... Einstein got ready to climax while doing math but realized you can't cumtilyain cumtilion. It's after sucktillion fucktillion.
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Pick him up and sick his dick.
Son: I love you, Dad.
Dad gets in car and drives away.
What do you call a shitty movie? One that fucking sucks and shits.
What do you call a place where people die?
Rosshall Academy.
So my sis thinks she's so smart. She said, "You can finish this move ten minutes later. Go to sleep."
GF: Laying down.
BF: GROANING
GF: Are you good at aiming and shooting?
BF: Yeah, why?
GF: Shoot that did in there.
BF: Mmmhuugh
Hungry: Dad, I'm hungry.
Dad: Hi, Hungry, I'm Dad.
Hungry: Why did you name me like this? :/
Do you like me? Joke... Well come on!
BOOMSHACKALATA!
What do you call a cat 🐈 that is glued down? A big cluck.
Bro, if you have anorexia, you have no skin at all.
What did the SS say when A.H. was running out of ideas?
"You Wannsee my 'final solution'?"
A woman goes to buy a parrot.
There is one for 200, 500, and one for 15 bucks.
She asks why the last one is so cheap.
The man at the counter says, "It used to live in a brothel/sex house."
The lady buys it anyway.
When she gets home, it says, "Fuck me, a new brothel!"
When her daughters get home, it says, "Fuck me, 2 new prozzies!"
When the father gets home, the parrot says, "Fuck me, Daryl, haven't seen you in the brothel in weeks!"