You jokes
Man: Could you hold this for me?
Kid: Ok mister! I love playing with a pew pew! Pow! Pew! Pew! Bang! *GUNSHOT*
Man: Dammit, now who am I gonna put in the van?!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Fourth of April.
Fourth of April who?
May the fourth be with you!
I got some from suggestions, research, etc. etc. Just to illuminate you.
"You gave me the same sweater as last year."
"You s w e a t e r believe it."
What do you call a bald science teacher?
HOBBS LOL XD :)
Memes
What do you call a cow with 3 legs?
Lean beef!
If you are ever mad, punch an orphan.
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Why did you say not to?
What do you say to a clock?
"What time is it?"
You: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Random person: Why?
You: To get to the idiot's house!
Random person: What?
You: Knock knock.
Random person: Who's there?
You: The chicken.
Teacher: Ok kids, time to go home.
The orphan: What is home?
Teacher: Here, I have somewhere for you.
*puts in trash can*
What do you call a dev that is dead?
A deadveloper.
What do you call a too round egg?
A prEGGnant egg.
What do you call a cow that is secret?
AnonyMOOus.
What do you call your kids?
Did you hear about the nurse who couldn’t swim?
She ended up under the doc[tor].
What did Onett and Threed reply to their child?
"I love you Twoson."
I saw a man today wearing a t-shirt that said "I'm with stupid."
I told him, "You know, that's not very nice."
He looked at me and said, "I'm with stupid, too."
Wow, paint can, you have such a colorful personality!
Mr. Nobody: Water you thinkin's happenin', Ol' Mr. Atlantic?
Mr. Atlantic: Something Smells Fishy...
Mr. Nobody: Well, duh, you idiot! You're an Ocean!
Mr. Atlantic: WTH!?!?????