Don't you hate it when you sit on your balls? It's a real nutcracker!
Y'know what's really sad?
Why break the fourth wall when you can turn the third wheel?
What do you call a 18+ animal jam?
Play Wild!
I was gonna tell you a pun about a bin but,
bin there, done that.
What do you call a bar run by Gungans?
Jar Jar Drinks.
Man 1: You look like Scott Cawthon.
Man 2: I'm gonna put your dick in a Coffin!
Man 3: Me first!
Sisters before misters.
I hope you get better.
I love you.
Did you know Stephen Hawking died in a game? The game was Happy Wheels.
Friend texting fat boy: I know you're on the group chat. I can see you looking at my texts.
Me: I can only see fat.
You know sex is better than logic, but I could've proved it...
Did you hear about the volcano that was accepted into Cambridge?
It was a decision on the number of degrees it holds, which is a lot, because volcanoes have lava if they're active. And ours was.
Do you want to know why I hired a protractor to tutor my nephew in IIROC? Because he has degrees. 180 of them. So he's smar[t].
When youāre having the best sex in your life and your grandma says, āIām not dead!ā
What do you say to your partner with diabetes?
Hey, sugar!
Have you heard about my new can crushing job?
It's soda-pressing.
Hey, what's the puniest pun you can come up with?
When you are losing at Tetris, I guess the odds are STACKED against you.
Bob the Golden Retriever and Lily the Husky were talking at Bob's house.
Lily: Bob, do you think I'm fat?
Bob: No, Lily, of course not! You're just a little husky!!!! Lol. Golden Retrievers are funny.
What do you call the 10th hole on a military golf course?
Ten-putt!
What do you get from pampered cows?
Spoiled milk.
