What's the difference between 8 and 9? When you have the 9, everyone wants to be your friend.
You Jokes
Have you ever heard of horchata? Horchata, fuck up!
The doctor gave his patient 1 day of life, so he shot him. Then the judge gave him 15 years, so there you go, problem solved.
What do you call a not potty trained human?
Amber Heard.
You are so dumb.
Like this if you like me.
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
Poor guy really needs some space.
What do you call a disabled person that can walk?
Enabled.
You are so fat that when you go out to check your letterbox, it measures 8 on the Richter scale.
Your dad left you because he went for milk.
*1,000,000 years later*
Her: Dad come back!
Him: FBI open up!
Eminem: "He don't even know his own father." Orphans: Dang, wish I could listen to that. Eminem: At least you have a rap God to call father.
I have a joke about doors, but you can't handle it!😂
You got a pig head!
Me in the middle of the night boiling water.
Me talking to my brother: How do you make holy water?
My brother: How?
Me: You boil the hell out of it.
You're so ugly that if you looked in the mirror, you would walk into the light.
Why did the sick juice tree go to the hospital? Because it needed lemin-ade (not the cool type of sick, the one where you are in the hospital). Lemin-ade 1st ade.
You're so fat, when you went on the weighing scale, it said "to be continued."
What does Biden do? He does you.
What does do something useful unlike you?
What do you call a cow that can't milk?
A failure!
Where do you bring a canoe that doesn’t feel good?... The boat dock.