What do you call a woman with magical abilities and an android? Wanda Maximoff and Vision! Or.... Scarlet Witch and Vision! This joke was added to celebrate and honour Marvel Studios' new series: WandaVision!
You Jokes
I was at a supermarket in Barcelona and I noticed the alarm had gone off. There was a thief at the store; the tea bag section had been ransacked.
Luckily they found the thief, Pionel Pessi, with boxes of his favourite tea, Penaltea. Shame on you, Pessi!
How do you know if a woman that is poor who is between 18-24 years old is poor enough to do anything for money to help pay her bills? She would be working as a lesbian prostitute inside a lesbian hotel in San Francisco, CA.
What does a Hufflepuff wolf say? βI will huffle and puff, and blow your house down!β
That is related to Harry Potter π§πΌββοΈ.
Roses are red, violets are blue, all these orphan jokes have ruined this site. Fuck you!
How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut!
Dumb kid: What does homework mean?
Teacher: J0K35? (J0K35 is me btw) can you explain to DK what homework means, please?
Me:
"Half Of My Existence Wasted On Random Knowledge"
This boy said, "Get your hairline straight." I said, "Girls don't have a hairline. How about you go to the barber shop and let your barber do your hair 10 times worse than he did the first time."
What do you call a pillow that has been on the bed for 20 years in jail?
A criminal! πππππππππ
Why are you gay? Because I said so!
Your Mom tells you to take out the trash, and the next day the Police are asking if you bombed the School.
Me: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, how did you know and what gave me away?
Me: Where's your parents?
Orphan: They died and I have a phone, why?
Me: Because it has a home button.
You will remember reading this for the rest of your life.
Iβm not funny! Please do not laugh at my jokes! But do check them out, theyβre very unpredictable. Read them, do not laugh, theyβre jokes, do not laugh at them!
Someone: hah- Me: NO DONβT YOU DARE!π π
Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girlfriend?
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
When you slap the mosquito, it stops sucking.
What do you get when you cross a cat and a dinosaur? A cat-astrophe!
So my mom said, "Did you do your homework?" Well, I say yes, and in the hour, I yelled, "This is fake, not real!" π π π
Is your fridge running?
Why yes, it is!
Then you better go catch it!
What happens when you search nudes on my phone?
Nothing, I don't have any.