You jokes
Do you want to hear a joke about paper?
Never mind, it's tear-able.
You are American when you walk into the bathroom, and you are American when you walk out.
But do you know what you are when you're in the bathroom? European.
My child is ungrateful. I got him a bike for Christmas and he didn't say thank you. No, he said, "Dad, I don't have any legs!"
Have you ever tried sex when camping?
It's f***ing intense.
What do you get if you add "ER" onto Hamburg?
Hamburg-ER.
What do you call a fish with no tail? A one-eyed grape.
One orphan said, "Daddy, chill." I was like, "You don't have a dad!"
What do you call an orphan? Batman.
Do you know who invented paper?
Cai Lun!
“RIP” Cai Lun.
What do you call a person with no eyebrows?
Ms. Burgos.
Wee dyslexic boy and girl in class.
Wee boy says, "Can you smell gas?"
Wee girl replies, "I canny even smell my name!"
If you're ever bored, beat up an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Like if you are in high school and miss school!
Someone: Hey, are you a skeleton?
A skeleton: Of course, I have a SKELE-ton of fans!
What is the difference between a human and a tree? A human can walk and you can drive.
Friend, you so faaaat.
Me: Boy, at least I'm not built like a Nintendo Switch.
What did the officer tell the lioness after she said she was a dog?
Oooooooooh girl, you lion!
Girls are like a bus; you might miss the first bus and catch the second bus.
Muslims don't need weed, they've got the Koran.
You burn that sh*t and you're gonna get stoned.
What do you call a dog that's faced backwards?
A god.