I thought of you today, and it reminded me to take out the trash.
You Jokes
My guy: I have a Q-Tip.
Me: You can Q my tip.
My guy: Ayo!
Guy with no arms: Even if I don’t have arms, I can do everything you can do.
🎵if you’re happy and you know it clap your hands🎵
Spell "Peppa." Okay. P. E. P. P. A. Hahaha! You said peepee.
I tried this with my sister Makenna because she loves Peppa Pig and has a backpack of it. So I told her to spell her backpack's letters and tricked her... And she is only four years old and my secret is I am only eight years old.
Putin: You came from the West and showered me with gifts.
Trump: And your prostitutes, they showered me with piss.
Your mom is the biggest tosser on the planet, yeah, you heard right.
I don't have to strain myself a blood vessel and be wankin' solo anymore; she saved me a whole load of arthritis.
Women should be seen and not heard.
But how would you control that if she was screaming "NO!!!" in the bedroom?
The best news about a pretty girl with special needs is that you can get her to do exactly what you want her to do.
I mean, she probably thinks receiving oral is like 100% blood sausage coming right at her.
You look like a heroin addict in a women's refuge.
I said, "Are you half left or half right?"
"Neither! In-between."
"What?! In between your mom's tits when you go to sleep with her at night?"
If your parachute fails midair, remember, you have the rest of your life to fix it.
You really seem like you don't want to be laughing at that rape joke, but somewhat ironically, I'm forcing you.
When we take a family photo, you are the background.
What goes up but never comes down? Your age. You have probably heard this joke before.
In Rocket League, you don't care who wins game MVP as long as it's not somebody on the other team.
My ex broke up with me the day before his birthday. Yeah, he never got to see anything on his birthday. Next thing you know, I'm now in prison.
Explain Bear, I want to kiss you.
Welcome to Alex's orphanage, you make 'em, we take 'em.
What did the rapper say to his shoes?
"You better lace up!"
What did the grape say to the rapper?
"You're so VINE, you must be on the JUICE!"