You jokes
How do you get a baby to stop crying?
Simple... you staple its mouth shut.
Me: Now I know why Michael Jackson turned white.
The police: You finally figured it out.
You know, life as a pufferfish is tough. They get startled, then they get hard.
You really can't call Stalin bad. Just think about the people that wanted to die.
You really can't call Stalin bad, just think about the kids that depression.
How many babies does it take to paint a barn?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
The first time I EVER HAD SEX I WAS ALL ALONE. You know why?
IT WAS DARK and I WAS ALL ALONE!
One day, the teacher asks a boy, "Why can't fish talk underwater?"
The kid says, "If I put your head underwater, will you be able to talk?"
Roses are red, That's a tin can, You have no home, So get in the van!
How do we get a butt? God made us like that, and we can't change it. If you wanted to, you have to die <:
Did you hear about the dyslexic man who walked into a bra?
I SAID GO TO BED BEFORE I SLAP THOSE SPOTS OFF OF YOU!
"Is your refiger running?"
"Is your refrigerator running? You better go catch it!"
What is the difference between an egg and you? An egg gets laid, and you don't.
What do you call an emo kid's suicide live stream?
America's funniest home videos.
How do you communicate to the dead?
Jump up and down on the ground and speak in Morse code!
911 jokes are just plane wrong, my dad was a great pilot you know.
This joke probably flew over people's heads, but for some people it flew into their head.
Do you have a halo, cause I can give you one.
Do you have a halo?
'Cause I can give it to you.
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Fuck 'em.