You jokes
I really want to beat the living daylights out of you, but it's not worth getting the wooden spoon for garbage.
Why did the skeleton have no friends?
He was a boner!
Heheheh!
Ah, see ya soon kiddo.
I'm going on break.
I'll give you some fried snow later!
What do you call chill legumes?
Hippeas.
What do you get when you cross a rooster with a small dog?
A Cock-a-POODLE-Doo!
What do you get when you cross a rooster with a small dog?
What do you call a bunch of sheep rolling down the hill?
A. A lamb slide.
Papyrus: I hate you, Frisk.
Frisk: This is why Mettaton doesn't fucking love you.
Sans: Kid, I will kill you.
Papyrus: (Remembers something) That's why you don't have a lover, you lonely giraffe!
What do you get when the queen farts a noble gas?
What do you get when a dino farts? A blast from the past.
Why are ninja farts so dangerous? They are silent but deadly.
Some dude: Water you thinking?
Me: You're drowning in my head.
What do you call a psychic midget in trouble with the law?
A small medium at large.
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick up a dead baby's ass.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lick-a-lot-of-puss.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
What do you call a train that stalls?
The little engine that couldn't!
Why do you tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast.
What do you call a smart pig?
A Swinestein.
If someone calls you, reply with this: “Hi, this is Dave’s orphanage and pizzeria, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I assist you today?”
What’s another name for a cow?
You... cause you're fat.
2 weeks here.
What do dicks and popsicles have in common?
They both like to be sucked on, and they sometimes choke you.
So this one time I saw Sally trying to get up after she fell off the swing, and I helped her up and she said "Thank you," and I said, "You're welcome." The next day I saw her legs and someone said, "I would not do that," and I said, "Whatever." I tapped Sally, and the top halve fell. I said, "WHAT HAPPENED TO SALLY?" And someone said she went in a minefield.