What does a construction worker say to another construction worker?
Screw you!
You Jokes
You know how you mine and craft in Minecraft, and you chat in VR in VR Chat, but what do you do in Alabama?
A man comes into the pharmacy to get a flu shot. The pharmacy nurse prepares one of the shots. The man gets the shot, and the nurse cleans the shot area.
The next day, the man comes back and gets another shot. Before he paid, the nurse said, “Don’t you realize if you get another shot you may die from overdose?” The man said, “Don’t you realize if you don’t shut up I’ll give you a shot of lead?” The nurse got scared and quit her job.
The nurse was relaxing, looking for a vacation to book, when all of a sudden she hears an odd noise. It sounds like someone cocking a gun. The man was hiding behind the nurses bushes. “In return for you giving me shots, here are yours,” said the man as he was chuckling like a psycho. The man shot the nurse in the leg so she couldn’t escape, then he shot her left hand, which is the lady’s dominant hand, so she couldn’t call the cops. For the finishing move, the man curb stomped the fucking life out of her until her head was as flat as paper.
9 years later......
All along, this man, this psycho, escaped a mental hospital. He went on mass genocide, killing 20,000 people in just 3 years. This man is more than human, more than alien, more than god himself. It was Satan reborn.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, God made me pretty, WHAT THE FRICK HAPPENED TO YOU?
What do you call a thirsty girl?
An H2Hoe.
You're like a cloud. When you go away, it's a beautiful day.
Bully: I'm going to hurt you so bad.
You: Well, your IQ is the same amount of teeth I'm about to knock out, so... you're so dumb that you don't even know how to do that.
And your IQ is 5.
Bully: I'm going to hurt you so bad.
You: Well... your IQ is the same amount of teeth I'm about to knock out, so... you're so dumb that you can't even do that.
And your IQ is 5.
Hey, you person who's scrolling, please leave your HONEST opinion on life. Do you think "life sucks" or "eh, it's okay," etc.? It can be short; if you don't want to, then that's okay.
What do you call a girl who is thirsty for water?
An H2hoe.
What's the first thing you say in anal sex..... "Holy shit!"
Have you ever walked into Jason Fraser’s house?
Neither has he.
Doctor: Tomorrow is like John Cena, you won’t see it.
When you put the chicken in the oven, it goes down, and the oven explodes. The oven and smoke and everything is fire and on fire and flies to the grass, and all goes back.
What's one thing you should never ask a suicidal person? "Are you okay?" because the next day they'll either be dead or have a lot more cuts than they started with.
To those who are dead now, was it fun?
How do you trap a shape? You use a trapezoid.
What do you call an autistic kid with a glock?
Special forces.
Btw, I'm 13.
Friend: Hey, let me give you a little riddle. There's a table [for] four people who are supposed to sit [at]. There is you, me, Will, Mary. In which order will they sit?
Other friend: Uhm, you, me, Mary, and Will?
Friend 1: Nope, guess again!
Other friend: Okay, what about "Will you marry me?" Oh, wait...
Friend 1: Of course!!!! :D
You know Thomas Paine, right? Well, clearly he had some common sense too, right?
What do you say to your pony when it's being wild?
Stop horsing around!
