You jokes
What do you call Juice WRLD in a coffin?
A juice box...
Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil? It's pointless.
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener.
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
You can't use a pitchfork to get the bowling ball out of the truck.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mail man.
Mailman who?
Bitch, do you want your mail?
Boy: Will you remember me in a minute?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Will you remember me in a day?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Will you remember me in a year?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Knock knock.
Mom: Who's there?
Boy: Bitch, you forgot me.
You get paper cuts on each eye and walk off a cliff.
That's kinda sus, you know?
Your forehead is so big your soulmate didn't even want you.
How do you tell the difference between a Palestinian elementary school and a terrorist training camp?
Answer... I don't know, I just fly the drone.
I'm going to do a song that's called "Falling" by Trevor Daniel... so here it goes.
My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything Talk to me, I need to hear you need me like I need ya Fall for me, I wanna know you feel how I feel for you, love Before you, baby, I was numb, drowned out pain by pouring up Speeding fast on the run, never want to get caught up Now you the one that I'm calling Swore that I'd never fall again, don't think I'm just talking I think I might go all in, no exceptions, girl, I need ya Think I'm out of my mind, 'cause I can't get enough Only one that I give my time, 'cause I got eyes for ya Might make an exception for ya, 'cause I been feeling ya Think I might be out of my mind, I think that you're the one My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything I'll never give my all again 'Cause I'm sick of falling down When I open up and give my trust They find a way to break it down Tear me up inside, and you break me down.
I told my grampa hello, and I said, "Hope you die!" hahahhhhahahahahahhahahahhahaha
What do you call a bunny jumping backwards?
A receding hairline.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I’d never play a country song backwards for you!
You call me ugly, but maybe that is why we look alike.
I am not a nerd ;). I'm just smarter than you.
Why can't you give Elsa a balloon?
She will let it go!! 😂🤣
So, a blind guy is sitting on a park bench with his seeing eye dog right beside him. Suddenly, his seeing eye dog cocks his leg and pisses all over the blind guy's leg. So the blind guy gives the dog a treat.
A man taking a walk saw the entire thing and said to the blind man, "That is the most charitable thing I’ve ever seen, your dog deliberately pissed on you and here you are giving him a dog biscuit." The blind man says, "Oh it’s not what you think, I’m just trying to find his head so I can kick him in the ass."
Kid: Dad, where are you going?
Dad: To get milk.
TEN YEARS LATER
Kid's friend: Where's your dad?
Kid: He went to get milk but never came back.
What is the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.