Mickey Mouse went to a psychologist and told him, “I’m having problems with my girlfriend.”
The psychologist said, “You mentioned that you think she is crazy.”
He said, “I didn’t say she was crazy, I said she’s fucking Goofy!”
You Jokes
What do you get when you cross a deer and a pickle?
A dildo.
To all the children on this website, hello!!!!! Hey!!!! How is life treating you?
(BTW I'm a kid, too. I'm Hayley, and I'm turning 13. My B-day is 10/08/2008.)
Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son. Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day. 😐
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"What are you shaking for? She’s going to eat me!"
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
A cow with no front legs walking around?
Beef stroganoff.
What do you call a guy who has sex on the Moon?
An “Astronut”!
What do you call a male cow that snores?
A “Bull Dozer”.
One day I was on my phone, then I got a text message from my girlfriend, "Hey, sexy boy, wanna hang out tonight if you know what I mean...?" Then I just stopped and froze. I read the message. I said, "Yeah, sure..." She replied really fast, "There's going to be a few people there, ok." But I didn't read the next message... She said, "Come right at 12:00 AM." But I didn't read it. I walked into her house, but I heard a strange noise like a moaning noise, and it sounded like HER!! So I hid behind the couch, and I looked through the open door and saw something I didn't want to see... Like for part 2 and comment if you want me to make another!!
Your Friend: Bro, I'm having a movie sleepover tonight. I've invited 17 people, wanna come?
You: Yeah, but why so many people?
Your Friend: Because the DVD says only 18+ viewers.
You: Dude!!!!
If you go broke, you could always rent parking garages on your huge ass forehead.
How many children does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw.
A man went into a library to get a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian said, "No, you won't bring it back."
You can't say Hitler was a bad person. He did kill Hitler after all.
Kid: "What's dark humor?"
Mom: "You see that man over there without arms? Tell him to clap."
Kid: "I am blind, Mom."
Mom: "Exactly."
How do you get a light bulb horny? You turn it on!
I was speaking at my grandpa's funeral and I told everybody his last words: "You still holding the ladder?"
"What do you do with your free time?"
"I stalk."
"Really? I enjoy walks in the park, going to the movies, and hanging out with friends."
"I know."
Parent: Have you seen your sister?
Son: No, the last time I saw her was when we were playing hide and seek.
What would Earth say if it had a boyfriend?
You need to com-it.
