You jokes

What did the egg say to the other egg?

"You crack me up!" 😂

You can beat up orphans, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Do you ever get that feeling where you're just going through a school parking lot, then you realize that there are no parking lots?

Do you know why Santa's sack is so big? He only comes once a year.

You're so fat that you're gonna be my next hamburger for dinner and the next In-N-Out, just like your parents.

You're gay if you see this.

I rang my boss and said, "I’m really sick. I won’t be coming into work." My boss said, "Davo, you're sick again! Really! Just how sick are you now?" I replied, "Well, I’m in bed with my sister!"

If you get out of the shower clean, how does your towel get dirty?

how do you cut of a hillbilly's dick?

kick his sister in the jaw

I have 206 bones in my body, but when I look at you, I have 207.

A man walks up to Lil Johnny one day and asks, "If you had one wish, but that wish will be granted to everyone on Earth... what would it be?"

So Lil Johnny thinks real hard and long, then said, "Well, I would wish for me to shit myself."

The man is shocked and asks why, and Lil Johnny replies, "Well, I would be on the toilet. I think everyone else would just be confused!"

Child: Hello, I can’t find my dad.

Stranger: Oh, well when and where did you last see him?

Child: Oh, I remember, 5 years ago he went to get some milk here.

There was an Indian riding in the desert when he saw a little blond-haired white girl up ahead. He heard her crying. So he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her, "Hey, what’s going on? Why are you crying? Where are your parents? What happened?"

The girl said in a crying, sad voice, "The bandidos came, killed my father, my brothers, then my mother, and raped my sister."

The Indian just laughed, untied and dropped his breechcloth, then said, “Guess this isn’t your day, is it?”

Why do you only see girls in groups of 3, 5, 7, and 9?

Because they can’t even.

You tell an orphan joke to an orphan. You start laughing, they start crying. They say they are going to tell their mom. Then you start laughing harder.

What did Michael Jackson say to the kid on his lap?

"You have a great singer inside you."

What's the difference between a bison and a buffalo?

You can't wash your face in a buffalo.

A student asked a teacher, "How do you pronounce this word? It's spelled A-L-L-I-E-D."

The teacher was about to answer, but then the student said, "Actually, I know how to pronounce it. I lied!" (allied)

What do you call a racist community? America.

Bully: "Shut up and give me your money, otherwise I will tell everyone that you are still a virgin."

Boy: "Haha, I am not a virgin anymore."

Bully: "Haha, nice joke."

Boy: "If you don't believe then ask your sister or brother."

Bully: "Hah, I don't have any sibling."

Boy: "Will just wait for 9 months then u will know."