You jokes
You never think of how people will react to an event. My friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.
I will remember my auntie's last words: "If you shoot me, your p-nis is small!"
(gun shot)
I will remember my brother's last words: if you can't put a fork in a toaster, how about a spoon?
People are like trees. They fall when you hit them multiple times with an axe.
Hey guys! I'm back! Sorry I didn't post yesterday! I had swim practice, and a bunch of homework, but here I am! And here is the quote of the day!
"Push yourself, because no one will do it for you."
Love y'all so much!
Shorkey will find you in bed tonight, and he will eat you like my joke or else...
My grandfather is a great fisherman, especially at baiting a rod.
I guess you could call him the Master Baiter.
I know you came here to feel good about yourself...
What do you call a school bus with 30 kids?
A killstreak.
You can’t land on Uranus XD
Wanna hear a funny joke?
You
Teacher: What's 55 flowers plus 67 flowers?
Kid: A garden?
Teacher: Did I tell you that you're adopted?
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You make them clap until they go home.
Girls are like roller coasters; the faster you go, the louder they scream.
I asked my wife if I could use toys during sex last night. You should've seen her face when I rolled my Hot Wheels across her tits.
If you watch "Jaws" backward, it will be a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms and legs to disabled people.
Roses are red, violets are blue, all these orphan jokes have ruined this site. Fuck you!
You guys are crazy!
What do you call an epileptic kid eating fruits?
A blender.
Little Red Riding Hood says to the wolf: "What a big dick you have!"
Wolf: "The better to f*** you with!"