You jokes
To all of you making jokes about orphans, it’s all fun and games until both of your parents leave you.
LMFAO (my parents left me and it’s not the funniest thing ever)
Dude: Hey dude guess who I am?
Viewers: Dora.
Trump: No, I am President Trump.
Viewers: Why are you wearing Dora’s clothes and backpack?
Trump: Today we are going to build a wall.
Viewers: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
What is the difference between an orphan and Pikachu?
"Pikachu, I choose you!"
What's the difference between you and an orphan?
Nothing.
What do you call an epileptic kid on cocaine?
An earthquake.
You know, people should really stop making fun of 911....both my parents died.
One driving one plane, and the other driving the other.
"Ketchup with me, you are too slow."
Teacher: "If you don't understand, ask your parents at home."
Orphan: "I don't have neither of those :c"
Did you hear about the cannibal that passed his brother in the woods?
What do you get when you mix a redneck and spicy food?
The worst shits you'll ever see!
You can hit an orphan, because who are they gonna tell? Their parents?
My mom tells me and my sister to stop fighting. "Mom! You and Dad need to stop!"
So, there's Fred and Frank. Now, they've been friends for years, but Fred, see, he's depressed. Badly.
Either way, so F+F are texting each other, and here's how it goes: (this is my first joke, so please don't judge too harshly)
Frank: Yo
Fred: Hi...
Frank: U heard about de competition?
Fred: Yeah...
Frank: You wanna hang out?
Fred: .......
Frank: What? I've got some noose (news) for you.
Fred: ...I(
Frank: Fine.... I guess we need to think of a plan, though. We don't wanna be hanging on the end.
Fred: *sigh* You know....you really can't rope me into this competition.
What do you call Aston?
Asston.
Uma Thurman in "Pulp Fiction" was very kind and possibly the sweetest character, unless you count her forehead as of now.
Friends, who's your barber? They mess up big time.
Me.
You're just jealous because my dad cuts my hair for free, and you have to be paying 30 dollars just for that short-ass cut.
Q: How can you tell if a Western is gay?
A: All the good guys are hung.
Q: What do you call a gay cowboy?
A: A jolly rancher.
Mom: You will make me kill myself.
Me who has cut first: I'll kill myself ✨first✨!
Mom says: "I will go kill myself."
Me: *stays quiet cuz knows better than to talk* *also me internally eyerolls*
Some time later me fighting with my mom:
Me to my mom: "Oh, yea than kill me!"
Mom: "What the hell did you just say? I don't want to hear it from you again!"
Lesson?
So it's OK for adults to say "I'll kill myself" but not teens/kids!?!?