You Jokes

Doctor

I bet when you were born, the doctor looked away because of your virginity.

Fat

Say this to someone who is fat that you don't like (make sure he's a virgin):

"You're so fat you can sell shaaade!! That's why you're a virgin and you masturbaaate!!! Yeah, I've see you, touching your 1 centimetre and if you have a gf she's is a cheater!!"

Make sure to say "shaaade" not "shade". And say "maturbaaate" (also try to say a D not a T in maturbaaate) not "masturbate".

Woman

The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”

Pedophile

A pedophile pulls up to little Jonny, lowers his window and asks, "hey little boy, if I give you a lolly, will you come in my car?" Little Jonny replies, "Give me the whole packet and I’ll come in your mouth."

Woman

A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."

Internet

Does anyone still look at this? If you do, tell me if I should make more jokes :)

Emo kid

What do you call a group of Emo kids?

Suicide Squad.

What jumps and never let's go?

An Emo kid.

I bet all Emos want to be like their biggest influencers some day.

Dead.

Why do Emos want to be the "Scene" these days?

The only thing I've "Scene" from them is their suicide rate climbing, it's starting to climb quicker than they did to get to the top of whatever they jumped off.

Self Harm

If you want to SH but not in the sell farm way, come ooon.. do you even know what does that means?..

Penis

What did the hamster say to the penis? "Ha, you look just like me!"

Kid

How do you get 50 hungry kids into a box? You put a can of beans in there.

How do you get 50 hungry kids out of a box? You run past with a can opener.

Horse

You can assume a horse is called a great jumper when the horse’s name is “Polo Neck”.

Comeback

Bully: I bet your dick is so small when you look down you can't see it.

Guy: I don't, I see your mom.

Forehead

Your forehead's so big, when you were being born, the doctors thought you had no face.

Orphan

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

You tell them to clap till their parents come home.

Sister

"You have to do this," and my sister said, "Well, I don't care."

And I said, "Well, you care enough to respond back, oh my gosh!"