You jokes
What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?
Anything you want—he can’t hear you.
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.
It would have been better if Martin Luther King didn’t have a dream.
You know, for his sake.
Roses are red, violets are blue, poetry is gay, and so are you.
My mum told me to take out the trash, but I couldn’t find you.
Do you ever wonder why Michael from Halloween likes his mask so much? It's because he ad-Myers it.
Little Johnny was in class, and his teacher asked, "How many of you guys are Trump fans?" Since the entire class wanted to be liked by the teacher, they all raised their hands, well, except Little Johnny. So the teacher asks, "Why are you being different again, Johnny?" So Little Johnny says, "Well, because I'm a Democrat. My mom is a Democrat, and my dad is a Democrat, so I'm a Democrat!" So then the teacher responds with, "Well, what if your mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?" Well, Little Johnny says, "A Trump fan!"
I can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere. I think you two would be really good friends.
You're like a cat, all you do is eat and sleep.
Me: Are you an alien?
Friend: No.
Me: Yeah, because you're too ugly to be one.
How do you find out if your kid is gay?
Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.
How do you kill a sheep?
You lamb shank it!
How do you fuck a cow?
Find the nearest Karen.
What do you call New York City?
A human zoo.
What is soccer like when you lose your soccer ball?
Orphan: "My Parents."
What happens if you play with Santa’s ball? You get a white Christmas.
If you play FNF, I play a game because he has two balls, boi.
What do you call an Asian chick with dick in her ass, pushy and mouth?
Filipino.
What do you call a Chinese hooker that won't get on her knees?
Cantonese...
How do you f**k a sheep?
Put your d**k in it and face it off the cliff edge. It'll keep going backwards as you push forwards.