You jokes
What do you call a committee of emo kids?
A cutting board!
Jim was caught beating a man up. Brooklyn took a picture of his license plate with her phone and told him, "Your life is ruined!" So Jim took a picture of her, and the next thing you know, he said, "Now my phone is ruined!"
What do you need an apple because you got an "izzy?"
What's life if you don't have one...
What do you call a German lesbian?
A Kraut Muncher.
You masturbate...
AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
You won't get any Squirtle and Bulbasaur pets.
Orgasm means two things:
1. During you masturbate.
2. You torture phantoms.
Squirtle to Bulbasaur: "You kinda cum... like a baka..."
If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep... That’ll give you a reason to get up in the morning.
What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.
Why is 8 scared of 7?
Because 7 8 9. If you think it doesn't make sense, then it is "7 ate 9."
Tell someone to spell "Icup."
Answer: It will say, "I see you pee!"
An Asian walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do you, too, sing 'One Long Toy Cow'?"
The bartender says to the Asian, "Sorry, I don't speak Chinese."
If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep... That'll give you a reason to get up in the morning.
How do you get an orphan to go to sleep?
Tell them their parents are waiting when they wake up.
People: Stop invading Ukraine!
Putin: Ukraine? you mean Mykraine.
If an old person tells you what to do just say, "At least my parents are alive!"
A little riddle...
Trump has it short, Kennedy has it long, the Pope has it but he doesn't use it, what is it?
...
Obviously the Surname, what are you thinking about you pervert?
What do you call a deaf dog? As you like, he doesn't hear you anyway.
Some guy asked me, "Are you better than my meat?" I said, "No, I'm not better, I just beat it all the time."