You jokes

You can slap, punch, knock out an orphan, what will they do? They don't have parents!

Smile, because it confuses people. Smile, because it’s easier than explaining what is killing you inside.

Do you know what the equivalent to hell is these days?

1. Listening to your teacher.

2. Not having your phone/game/TV.

3. Not having nicotine.

My cousin said being gay was such a pain in the ass and I asked him why and I said, "Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, I get made fun of." and I said, "Why? Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, turd." Then I said, "Wow, at least I'm not the one with real pains in my ass, bro."

Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?

Kid: Why?

Man: 'Cause they have a family plan.

Kid: Oh, then I need to switch phone services then.

Man: Why?

Kid: I'm an orphan.

Man: *laughs out loud* That's tough!

(You can tell the joke shortened by saying, "Why can't an orphan use Verizon? 'Cause they have a family plan.")

My mom said, "Why did I adopt you?"

I said, "Because the other three were mistakes."

Wife: Stop telling rape jokes, it's not funny. Husband: Who raped you this morning?

This joke is kinda offensive, but here you go.

What’s the longest joke of the year? Pride month.

I still remember the last thing Gaster said before he kicked the bucket, it was, "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?" (Sans)