You jokes
like this if you have ever been abused.
A man comes to an assassin who charges $1000 per shot. He tells the assassin, "My wife's been cheating on me. I want you to shoot her in the head and shoot the guy in the dick." When they arrive, they wait. The man asks why he hasn't taken the shot. The assassin says, "I know how I can save you $1000."
What do you call children born from incest?
Gross Domestic Product.
What do you call a house with no one living inside?
An orphan house.
Lady: "Can I lick your balls?"
Me: "Ummmmm, ok?"
Lady: *grabs ball sack and licks my balls*
Me: "I'm gonna have to clean these now!"
Lady: "Let me do that."
Me: "No, thank you! I have to use these baseballs for practice!"
What do you call a not potty trained human?
Amber Heard.
What do you call a bear with no ear?
B.
A: Do you eat food?
B: Yes...
A: You can sit on deez nuts then!
B: Omg I have depression now.
When the doctor asks you what your zodiac sign is,
You respond: "cancer."
Doctor says: "Well, what a coincidence!"
Your mom was born in a dumpster, as well as you.
What do you call a downy who can't get a girlfriend?
Down bad.
House for sale: five minutes from the beach or eight seconds if you fall.
What do you call a dinosaur with good eyesight?
Do you think he saw us?
What do you call a dinosaur with a butt?
A Butt-asaurus.
What do you call a man with no head? Airhead.
Peter: Curses!
Jacob: Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
Peter: *Crying*
Jacob: Why are you crying?
Jacob: Whatever. *Leaves orphanage*
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Chicken.
Chicken who?
Are you chicken me????!!!!
When you wear a big hat and your butt starts to splat diarrhea!
What do you call an engineer that bakes? A BAKENEER!
What do you do when you're bored?
Beat up an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?