What do you call a blonde in the freezer? Her parents named her Jessica, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
If at first, you don’t succeed... then skydiving definitely isn’t for you
When your brother sends you to go get a box of condoms for his b-day. (* *)
I burned an orphan's hand and then they said, "You will pay for this."
Me: "What are you going to do? Tell your parents?"
Imagine losing your child in WW2 and your son fucking respawns, so you tell him off for not getting enough kills.
What do you call an idiot who needs to get a life?
The Stigg.
Did you know that chips taste like the baked potato in things called bags of chips?
What's the difference between you and Frankenstein?
He is not ugly like you; plus, he has a wife.
One day a kid walks up to there mom and asks whey is my name daisy? The mom's reply is because when you were born a daisy landed on your head. The second kid asks why is my name butterfly? The mom's reply is because when you were born a butterfly landed on your head. Then you hear ooooooooohahbfisbfsdkf. Shut up brick!
What do you call a dead woman in the back of your car?
Idk, I just have a couple in the backseat.
Me: What is the difference between your mom and a mosquito?
Friend: Let me guess, they both suck you.
Me: Can I get your mom's number?
Friend: Here you go:
Me: Ohh, strange, I already had it.
Why did your emo mom get you?
To have someone to hang out with.
How do you tell if a blond is really stupid?
Put a scratch and sniff on a bleach pod.
How many baby's does it take to paint a wall depends on how hard you throw it
What do you call a swimming terrorist?
A bath bomb.
Hoes be like, "I've been through a lot."
No, a lot's been through you.
Did you know, the average gay person likes men?
"When someone asks for a dad joke and you send them to the orphan page."
Was your dad a pilot? Because I rate you a 9/11
