You jokes
I'm sorry your dad beat you instead of cancer.
What do you call a movie about an orphan?
The Bat Man.
Person: You're so ugly.
Me: You ugly.
Person: I'm not a mirror.
Me: And I'm not your reflection.
When it's not just a phase and you kill yourself to prove it.
Roses are red, violets are blue, in the middle of the day, give me money, you!
What do you call Scooby Doo with a blunt in his mouth? Scooby Dooby.
Can you imagine the last thing that went through the minds of 911 victims?
Well, probably their kneecaps.
Little Johnny walks out to the garage and sees Dad smoking a cigarette. He asks, "Hey Dad, can I have a puff of that cigarette?" Dad asks, "Well, Johnny, can your dick reach your ass?" Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment. He then replies, "Well, no, Dad, my dick can't reach my ass." His Dad says, "There's your answer, Johnny..." Little Johnny goes back in the house.
About an hour later, Little Johnny comes back out to the garage and sees his Dad drinking a beer. He asks, "Hey Dad, can I have some of that beer?" Dad asks, "Well, Johnny, can your dick reach your ass?" Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment. He then replies, "Well, no, Dad, my dick can't reach my ass." His Dad says, "There's your answer, Johnny..." Little Johnny goes back in the house.
About an hour later, Little Johnny comes back out to the garage with a big plate of Tollhouse Chocolate Chip cookies, fresh from the oven. His Dad says, "Wow, Johnny, those sure look like some good cookies. You think I can have some?" Little Johnny asks his Dad, "Well Dad, can your dick reach your ass?" His Dad scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment. He then replies, "Well, yes, Johnny, I do believe my dick can reach my ass." Little Johnny says, "Well, Dad, you can go FUCK yourself, cuz Mom made these cookies for me!!!"
What do you say to a person who got his whole left side cut off? "Are you all right?!"
Like if you love food!
How do you keep a blind kid busy? Give him sandpaper and tell him it's a find-a-word. ๐๐คฃ
What did one buttcheek say to the other buttcheek?
"Keep this shit between you and me."
How do you make a blind person jealous? You ask if it's a nice day out.
Are you bleach? Because I want you inside of me.
What do you call a questioning Constanta?
Curious George.
You know the saying "One man's trash is another man's treasure?"
Wonderful saying! Horrible way to find out you're adopted! :DD
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Well, you don't have to cry about it, Gary.
When your girlfriend tells you she's a guy: "What, bitch? Naw, hell no!"
What do you call a YouTuber? A virgin.
How do you stop constipation?
You scare the crap outta them.
(Crap is another word for poop.)