You jokes
Say this when you answer a spam call...
"Hi, welcome to Bob's Taco Shack and Funeral Home, where yesterday's grief is today's beef."
Girl, you must be a Muslim because you are da bomb.
Me: Dark humor jokes are like a mother's love.
Orphan: How come?
Me: You wouldn't get it.
Orphan: . . . .
Alex: Dad, can we get me a little brother from the orphanage?
Dad: Sure, Alex!
Dad: We're here!
Orphanage manager: Alex! You are so big now!
Alex: Dad, what is she talking about?!
What do you call a burning orphan in a wheelchair? Hot Wheels.
What hit the ground first, the orphan or the apple? The apple. The orphan never hit the ground.
What type of jokes do you tell an orphan?
Family jokes.
John walked into Pat at the barn. He was dancing naked in front of a tractor. John said, "Hey, Pat, what are you doing?"
Pat said, "Well, me and the wife have been having a bit of trouble in bed, so I went to a therapist, and he said I should do something sexy to a tractor (attract her)."
Guys, do not follow Tom, he is super inappropriate. I did a 48-hour face reveal and this is what he said:
Tom 13 minutes ago Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ur so cute I wanna fuck your pussy so hard you look amazing I luv ur face come have sex with me mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
What do you get when you put a vest on an alligator?
An investigator!
So the other day, I was looking up zodiac sign stuff, you know, I'm a real big fan of that, and I come across this thing and it’s like all zodiac signs have their own hairstyles... except Cancer.
How do you put a baby alien to sleep?
You rocket. 🚀🚀🚀
What did Jake say to Peggy?
"CALC-U-LATOR!" Get it? Like, "Catch you later!"
Walk up to the quiet kid and tell him to hang in there. Trust me, you won’t regret it.
Your dad? Oh wait, you don’t have that!
How do you make an 8 year old girl cry twice. Wipe your bloody cock off on her favourite teddy bear after you’ve finished raping her
You look like a double dipped chocolate chip cliff flipped glazed charcoal slim jim Mr. clog hunch frap, no feet, 9 arms, 17 stomachs. You stepdad beat you with a wiffle ball bat. NBA Youngboy was in your bathroom spitting on you and now you got herpes on your left side cheek.
What do you call an orphan taking a picture of themself?
A family photo.
What do you call a suicide bomber under the water?
A bath bomb.
[being buried alive]
Murderer: *out of breath* How are you eating the dirt so quickly?
What do you call a kid with cancer? Limited.