You jokes

I heard that the numbers on the front of your credit card represent the number of minutes until you meet the 💕 love of your life!💕

And the 3 numbers on the back represent the month and day you make it official!!

Comment those numbers to lock it in!!😄

Damn bro, are you Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?

Cuz you be lookin AuTiSTiC.

I bet you eat your cereal with water because your dad never came back with the milk.

One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”

What do you call Adolf Hitler in a pool? Adolfin.

You're so skinny, you can hula-hoop with Fruit Loops!

You're so skinny, you swallowed a meatball and thought you were pregnant!

I prank called someone saying, "SON! IT'S ME, SON! I'M COMING FOR YOU!!!" My friend next to me asked who I was calling, and I said, "the orphanage."

How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.

I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.

Anyone remember the following?

2 7 73 53.

I'll give you time, figure it out.

Did you hear that oxygen and magnesium hooked up last night?

OMg!

Guys, you shouldn't joke about 9/11.

My great-uncle died that day. Best damn pilot in Iraq.

My enemy likes to act like he’s stupid sometimes, and so once he asked me what a sin was, and I responded with, “you.”

Me: Yo, dude! Yo mama so fat when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes!

My friend's mom: Why you bully me?

You're so skinny that you use Chapstick as deodorant.

You're so skinny, when you did your first jump on a pogo stick you would never come back.

You're so skinny that if I were to put you on a flagpole, you would wave in the wind.

You're so skinny, starving Ethiopians offer you food!

You're so skinny, you probably wipe your ass with floss.