You jokes
Bully: Ur momma so fat that the whales said we are family even though you are a little bigger than us.
Nerd: Yo momma so ugly that when she went in the bathtub, the water jumped out.
Silence...................punch!
How do you rape a feminist? Tell her you are a woman and she will let you do whatever. You won't even need to force it.
What did Joe Biden say when he got pulled over?
I'm just a-Biden the law, officer.
These are not funny. Those that are adopted feel hurt by these!
You shall feel ashamed of yourself!
Take the L! - Losers
Me: It's so sad Ironman died of ligma. You: What the heck is an Ironman? Me: Ligma balls. "snap" ^kaboom^
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Make them clap until their parents come back.
Just because youβre suicidal, you donβt have to be a quitter.
Wait, actually.
Man: Cow milk is drinkable.
Other man: How do you know that?
Man: *smiles with milk all over mouth*
Other man: John...h-how do you know that!
What do you call a Chinese baby?
Sum Ting Wong.
My friend: You ever feel like life is pointless? *drives faster*
Me: Yea-
My friend: If you could die with one person, who would it be? *speeds up more*
Me: H-hey, you should slow down! Slow down, slow down! We're about to-
Did you know penguins can actually fly if thrown hard enough... Just like children.
What do you call someone whoβs afraid of breaststroke? Chicken breast.
What do you call a gay emo kid?
Fruit Ninja.
Hey girl, do you like Harry Potter?
Because I want to wingardium leviosa up that skirt, alohamora those legs open, and aqua erupto inside of your leaky cauldron.
When you realize your friend standing next to you is adopted and narrates everything he does.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, You slept with my cousin but I did too.
Nobody likes you because you are an orphan.
"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "You're." "You're who?" "You're parents left you."
The daughter of an incestuous pedophile goes into the living room where he is watching TV and asks him if she can borrow the car that evening.
"Sure honey! If you suck my dick!"
So she gets down on him but something is wrong. She pops her head up and says: "Dad! This tastes like shit!"
"Oh yeah, I forgot," says the father. "I already gave your brother the car for tonight."
I love balls, bro. So do you.