You jokes
The devil's number is 346 because you will be in jail.
Boy: “My heart MELTS for you.”
Girl: “OMG, are you okay?!?!”
Boy: “Yeah, why?”
Girl: “Because if your heart is melting, then you are NOT okay.”
You know some of these jokes took me 9 minutes and 11 seconds to realize. When I did, it hit me like a plane.
You're so short that I had to ask God why he made you short-ass toothpick legs.
Father: I’m taking your toys to the orphanage.
Child: But why?
Father: So you won’t be bored. You’re going to need them there.
Dad: If you study, then I will buy you a new iPhone.
Son: Okay, I'll do it!
5 hours later...
Son: I'm done!
Dad: I lied.
Son: So did I!
Yo mama's hairline got so many peaks and valleys, you thought you were looking at the Grand Canyon.
What do you call a boy Panera Bread?
Panera Balls.
What do you call Hitler when he gets thrown?
A gas grenade.
What do you do when a Panera Bread panera breads?
Panera Bread.
You're pretty, pretty dumb.
What do you call an orphan's family reunion?
Me time.
How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it!
If your left nut was Thanksgiving and your right nut was Christmas, then you wouldn't have any balls because they're holidays.
Random person: "What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"
Man: *Shows a picture of his child.*
Yo mama so ugly, when she sweats, the sweat runs down the back of her head to avoid her face.
Yo mama so fat, her cheeks are in different time zones.
Yo mama so ugly, when she was cutting onions, the onions cried instead of her.
What do you call Panera bread when it’s on top of someone?
Panera head.
What do you call a door that bells? A doorbell.