You jokes

Are you mixed? Cuz you're half fine, half mine 😏

Why did I trip over your foot?

Because you were so short I couldn’t see you!

I asked a European what do you call Karens in your country? He said, "American women."

What is the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? You can hang the picture with just one nail.

Have you heard about the pedophile who was guilty of robbery?

He took a girl's innocence.

How do you know when a woman is going to have a black baby?

When she takes the tampon out, all the cotton is picked.

I told my emo girlfriend, "Do you like the lights?" Oh wait, she ain't got any.

I’d like to take you to the movies, but unfortunately, they don’t let you bring your own snacks.

Okay, what do you call that purple thing in your mom's top dresser drawer that she calls her best best friend for some weird reason?

Dad better look out from Bob, battery-operated boyfriend, hahaha!

What is it called when you have four white people in the car?

Clear windows.

You know that if it says, "Adopt a Highway" and no one does, we're driving on orphans.

What do you never say to gay people?

IF YOUR HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT CLAP YOUR HANDS! 🤣🤣🤣🏳️‍🌈

What do you call a rich Chinese child?

"Ching Ching..."

How do you know someone is autistic?

They get stuck in a loop very often.

I wish you were a soap, because I want you all over me.

What did the toaster say to the bread?

"I want you inside me!"

Mum finds out child cheats in math test.

Mom says, "There is no cheating in this house."

Child: "Then why did you cheat with my math teacher last night?"

Mom: ON THE PHONE WITH CHILD- Honey, is Dad late to pick you up again?

Child: No, Mum. Dad is here, but he is talking about me to Mrs. Lili, the math teacher.

Mom: Can you hear them?

Child: I think... they are watching a good movie.

Mom: Why do you think that?

Child: Because I keep hearing this *HOLDS ONTO PHONE* and clap, clap, clap.

Q: How do you know if a gang of Chinese people robbed your house?

A: All the rice is gone.

So, a woman gives birth to a child, and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down. Then, he starts swinging it around the room, slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, “Let my baby go, you sick bastard!” The doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, “I’m just kidding, it was already dead.”