You jokes

A brother and sister were hanging out, and the brother was sad, so the sister asked why. The brother replies with, "I think I need to break up with you!"

How are you and an orphan similar?

Both of your fathers are invisible.

Do you play COC?

Because it’s a pretty good game.

You realize we are tolerating you, right?

Why is "dark" spelled with a K and not a C?

Because you can't see in the dark.

My son caught me masturbating. He asked me, "What are you doing?" and I said, "Don't worry, son, you'll be doing it soon." He asks, "Why is that?" and I said, "My arm's getting tired."

Q: How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?

A: You give them a Sandy Hook.

You hear that? That’s the sound of me not caring.

What do you call a fat motivational speaker?

Four chin teller.

What do you call a terrorist in a bathtub?

Bathbomb.

How many people fit in a tree?

I don't know, you tell me.

What do you call an Asian, a blind man, and a very bad driver?

Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.

Are you a white van? Because I would love to put children in you.

Your forehead is so big, it gets home 50 min before you do.

What do you call field day in Africa?

The Hunger Games.

What is the only part of a vegetable you can’t eat?

The wheelchair.

If you are a girl and your favorite movie as a kid was Mulan, they successfully made a man out of you.

What do you call a person in a wheelchair with a speaker?

Rolling Loud 🎸🎸

What does one orphan say to another orphan on Opposite Day? "Do you want to go home?"