You jokes

Recycling

45 views ·

When recycling toilet paper, you really need to process the crap out of it.

Conversely, you can recycle a condom quite easily: just turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it.

Trash

17 views ·

I think someone left trash at the doorstep. Oh, wait, it's your parents dropping you off at the kid's store.

Memory

249 views ·

An old man is sitting on a park bench, crying his eyes out. A jogger stops, feels bad for him, and asks, "Sir, what's wrong?"

The old man sobs, "I'm 85 years old. I have a 25-year-old wife at home who is a supermodel. She cooks me gourmet meals every day, she keeps the house spotless, and we spend every night in total, passionate bliss."

The jogger looks confused. "Wait... that sounds amazing! Why are you crying?"

The old man looks up, tears streaming down his face, and wails: "I can't remember where I live!"

Anencephaly

27 views ·

Q. What do you call a baby with anencephaly? A. Anything you want, it's not like it's gonna answer you.

Porn

44 views ·

Did you know they made a porn site for pirates?

It's called Heavy Arrrrrrg.

Emo

47 views ·

How can you tell what kind of emo you are?

By how deep the cuts are on your forearm.