You jokes

Orphan

Doctor: "I am so sorry, I cannot see you today."

Orphan: "Oh, okay. What about tomorrow?"

Doctor: "No, I can't see you ever."

Orphan: "Why?"

Doctor: "Because I am a family doctor."

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  • Orphan

    Do you know the F in "orphan" stands for family?

    There is no F in "orphan".

    Exactly.

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  • Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses. He's not breathing and his gaze is blank. The other hunter grabs his phone and calls emergency services: "My friend is dead! What do I do?"

    The emergency dispatcher replies: "Calm down. I can help you. First, make sure he's really dead."

    Silence on the other end, then a gunshot. Back on the phone, the hunter asks: "Okay, now what?"

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  • Dyslexic

    Have you heard about the dyslexic devil worshipper?

    He sold his soul to Santa.

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  • Woman

    What’s the difference between a woman and a mosquito?

    A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.

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  • Lesbian

    What do you call a closet with two lesbians inside?

    A liquor cabinet.

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  • Terrorist

    What do you call a terrorist in a bath?

    A bath bomb.

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  • Catholic

    Did you know that good Catholic girls like to WAP?

    Yeah, they are all about Worship and Prayer.

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  • Chinese

    What do you get when you cross a Chinese and an Indian man?

    A car thief who can't drive.

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  • Gay

    What do you call a lazy kangaroo?

    A pouch potato.

    Penis

    What do you call a dick?

    Suck my dick!

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  • Comedy is so woke these days. You can't make fun of any disadvantaged group.

    Except people with Alzheimer's. They'll just forget you made the joke in five minutes anyway.

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  • Down Syndrome

    What do you call a romance movie for Down syndrome people? Chromeo and Juliet.

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  • Iraq

    What do you call a terrorist attack in Iraq? A selfie!

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  • Alcohol

    How can you tell if someone Amish is an alcoholic? They keep falling off the wagon.

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  • Exercise

    When should you discourage your husband from exercising and dieting? When he wants to fit in your clothes!

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  • Dwarf

    What do you call a party with 100 midgets? A little get together.

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