You jokes
What do you call One Direction converted to Islam?
Al-Qaedirection
Sayori jokes aren't funny. :-:
I went through that once, you know...
Why should you lose your virginity to an autistic person?
Because virginity needs to be lost with someone special.
What are the first four letters of the alphabet?
Mum: (noticing the child's hair is too long) "You need a haircut."
Brother: (winning a game on PlayStation) "Yes! Get in!"
Uncle: (making plans) "We're gonna go and see The Bodyguard."
Aunt: (singing a song from the show after overhearing the conversation) "I have nothing, nothing, nothing... if I don't have you."
Next day...
Student: I know the alphabet.
Teacher: OK, go on.
Student: "You need a haircut."
Teacher: How dare you make comments like this! Do you want to go to the headteacher?
Student: "Yes! Get in!"
Teacher: What do you think you're going to be doing?
Student: "We're gonna go and see The Bodyguard."
*In headteacher's office*
Headteacher: Now, I hear you were very rude to the literacy teacher earlier. What do you have to say for yourself?
Student: "I have nothing, nothing, nothing... if I don't have you."
All these wraps and you still can't beatbox.
It was 5:00 PM and I asked my sibling: "Can I have something to eat?"
He replied: "No, not until you tell me the alphabet."
So I said: "A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, U, V, W, X, Y, Z."
Then my sibling asked me: "Where's the T?"
I replied: "It's in the microwave, you just need to dish it up."
How do you fit 4 gay guys on 1 barstool?
Turn it upside down and shove a leg up each of their asses.
Why do you not go to a gay man's BBQ?
Because the hotdogs taste like shit.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
FBI wants my penis, can I hide it in you?
How do you make sure a rape victim doesn’t testify against you?
Kill her first.
What do you call a robot that feels like the opposite gender?
A transformer.
What do you get when you combine Michael J. Fox and a cow?
A milkshake.
Pretend you're an orphan and I'm telling you a joke:
Your mom.
How do you stop a gang of black men from raping a white girl?
Throw them a basketball.
How Bibi celebrates Valentine's Day:
“I want to nutinyahu.”
“I’d blow up a school for you.”
“Can I be your ‘chosen person?’ 👉👈”
“I wanna bibi inside yo pp.”
Tung tung tung sahur. Three tungs when you say his name? So many tungs I oughta call you a polyglot.
Need a sock puppet for a joke.
"Hey Soccy?" "What?" "Where do you come from?" "The laundry bin... I don’t wanna talk about it!" 🤣
What's the difference between parking a car and finding a girlfriend?
All the good ones are taken, so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody finds out.
(Teacher): "What's one sport you want to do, but you're not good at?"
(Me): "Suicide."
A man complains to a slave dealer: "The slave you sold me died!"
"By the gods," replies the dealer, "he never did that when I owned him!"