You jokes
What do you call an annoying emo kid?
A nuisance.
What do you call it when a tranny commits suicide?
A good start.
What do atoms and parents have in common to orphans? You can't see either of them.
Why should you shoot a homeless crackhead in the head?
Because they're basically zombies.
What do you do in India when you need to tell the time but don't have the money for a watch?
You bob your head from side to side like a metronome.
What do you call a talentless Korean person? Us Lee Less!
A panda goes to see a hooker. He goes down on her, he mates with her, he ejaculates and then he attempts to walk away.
The working girl asks, "Aren't you going to pay me?"
She opens the dictionary to "Prostitute: One who sells sexual companionship for money."
The panda picks up the dictionary and turns to the definition "Panda: A marsupial who eats, roots, shoots, and leaves."
What do you get from a co-worker with epilepsy for being accused of harassment? A "seize" and desist letter.
"Where did you learn to do bookkeeping?"
"Yale."
"And what was your name again?"
"Yackson."
Are you a Muslim, because you're the bomb?
Saint Nicholas is the patron saint of working girls. Call girls. Hookers. Prostitutes. And the association is a long one, going back to the very earliest legends which place St. Nick as a Greek bishop in Myra, Lycia in what is now the Turkish Mediterranean - three centuries after Christ.
Saint Nicholas is notable primarily for giving secretly to the poor, and supposedly the first to benefit were three young ladies whose poor father couldn't afford wedding or dowry to marry them off - destining them instead to a life of prostitution. St. Nick supposedly threw a bag of gold through the window to pay for the wedding but, by the third attempt, the poor father was watching to determine the identity of the anonymous benefactor. Santa outsmarted him by dropping the last bag of coins down the chimney.
So, whenever you see Santa, he always travels with his three favourite sex workers - who seemingly never grow old. On a quiet, still Christmas night you can even hear him call them.
Ho! Ho! Ho! And to all a good night.
How can you never find a hippo hiding behind a weed?
Because they're so good at it.
A guard at a baseball stadium let in the pheasant, the chicken, and the duck. But he didn't let in the turkey. Why? Because four strikes and you are out!
I'm not sure if you have any feelings because everything about you seems very dull.
I have a heart, alright. I just happen to see a mere hollow shell of one coming from you.
Is it just me or is your personality fake as well? Can't tell because everything about you is.
You're so boring that you make war veterans die quicker, and yet they're still on life support.
When they said sin was ugly to look at, I didn't know God would use you as an example.
What makes my life so unfair?
You invading it for no apparent reason.
You're so dark that even God's light can't shine upon you.