You jokes
A burglar breaks into a weapons engineer's house, hoping to loot the high-tech arsenal. Suddenly, the engineer yells from upstairs, "Hey! Stop right there!"
The burglar, trying to play tough, screams, "Hands up! I know you've got the goods! Open the armory or I'll shoot!"
The engineer, trembling, cries, "Okay, okay! Don't shoot! I'll give you everything, even my latest prototype!"
The burglar, eyes gleaming with greed, demands, "Prove it! Let me see this fancy new gun first!"
The engineer points to a target range. "It's a plasma blaster," he claims. "Go ahead, give it a shot."
The burglar aims at the bullseye, pulls the trigger, and—BANG!—the gun fires directly into his own chest.
As the thief collapses, the engineer cackles, "Surprise! It's not plasma; it's my new 'Reverse-Recoil Special,' specifically designed for uninvited guests!"
Oh, you need a lesbian joke?
Uhh... gimme a second....
Me???
If your parents never had children, chances are, you won't either.
I would build you a monument so that you would finally come up with clever thoughts.
How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?
The weird moaning sounds when you try to slide in the back door.
Followed by slipping in Kentucky (KY) Jelly.
Followed by landing in deep shit.
Followed by being totally covered in sea men.
"Thank you for letting me borrow your wife."
*darned autocorrect*
"Thank you for letting me borrow your wi-fi"
How can you tell a woman's pussy is good?
You smell her fingers.
You should never suppress a fart. It travels up the spine high into the brain. That's where the shit ideas come from.
Better to drink until you wave it off than to wave it down.
What would you call a Spanish Notch?
El Notch-o.
What would you call a cat royal’s descendants?
A feline.
How do you make a blow job OSHA compliant? You add a railing!
So there were these two wind turbines standing in a field, and one of them asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?"
The other thinks for a moment and says, "I'm a big metal fan."
Why is chemotherapy like a five-star meal?
Because you have to have money to pay for it.
How do you make a blonde girl stop screaming in bed? Pull out of her.
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"Why are you shaking? She's gonna eat me later!"
What's something you shouldn't tell a paraplegic that's being confronted by a bully?
Just walk away.
The legs are soft and delicious.
How much can you earn in Selkan Toko Na Sinsel? Njpopularnijssa bronia jost. My grandma was already eto nasaba of the other sachan without me. Then you will be satisfied.
What can you say in bed and in piano class? Im fingering A Minor
What do you call a gay baseball player? A homo-run-sexual.