You jokes
A man walked into a bar and said, "What do you call a cum shot?"
The people running the bar said, "I don't know, nut."
The guy said, "Are you calling me a nut?"
People always call me heartless. That’s not true. I have a heart... it just wasn’t meant for you.
Welcome to politics: You lie to fight and fight to lie.
I'm not saying you're annoying.
But if a yeast infection were a person, it would be you.
I'd make you fall harder than the South Tower.
Question:
Did you hear the one about MAGA people?
Answer:
It "sucks" just like they do!
An orphan walked up to St. June's Family Hospital.
Doctor: "Sorry kid, you can't be in here."
Did you know Kurt had dandruff?
Found his head and shoulders behind the couch.
Girl: "Dad."
Dad: "Do I love you?"
Girl: "I am a prostitute."
Dad: "Yes."
Woman 2: "Dad."
Dad: "Right?"
Woman 2: "I'm a woman too."
Father: "God, do you love children?"
Boy: "Yes..."
How do you make an idiot say how?
Did you hear about the dyslexic couple who were struggling to have sex? They kept doing the 96 positions.
How do you punish blind kids?
Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.
What do you call an emo kid at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.
Did you know there's a place in Germany called Hanover?
Must be lots of drunks there.
Doctor: "I am so sorry, I cannot see you today."
Orphan: "Oh, okay. What about tomorrow?"
Doctor: "No, I can't see you ever."
Orphan: "Why?"
Doctor: "Because I am a family doctor."
Do you know the F in "orphan" stands for family?
There is no F in "orphan".
Exactly.
Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses. He's not breathing and his gaze is blank. The other hunter grabs his phone and calls emergency services: "My friend is dead! What do I do?"
The emergency dispatcher replies: "Calm down. I can help you. First, make sure he's really dead."
Silence on the other end, then a gunshot. Back on the phone, the hunter asks: "Okay, now what?"
What do you call an army of autistic people?
Special forces!
The great meme reset is like a fart. If you force it, it's gonna be shit.
Have you heard about the dyslexic devil worshipper?
He sold his soul to Santa.