You jokes
Hey girl, are you suicide? 'Cause I think of you everyday.
Welcome to Peyton's Orphanage, where you make it, we take it!
Did you know that the letter "f" in "orphan" stands for family?
(DOORS)
What door is the first door that opens for you?
The elevator to go to the game.
You know why I only date disabled people? Cause they can't get away.
Someone: PLEASE EAT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!
Me: *Trying to remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because I've already googled it and given up because it takes too long.*
Me: Na, yeah, I still have 19 days left.
How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.
Your hairline goes even further back than the last time your parents said "I love you."
What do you call a terrorist swimming?
A bath bomb!
What do you call a kid with a special sense of humor? Autism, hahaha!
When I get jokes. They aren't f****** restarted like you.
My sister.
Why can't you teach an orphan new tricks?
Because there is no one to teach them.
Why can't you teach an orphan new tricks?
Because there is no one to teach them.
Me: Hey, were you born on a highway?
My enemy: Uh, no, why?
Me: Because that’s where most accidents happen.
Would you watch a tree grow? Or a knee grow?
What is the difference between you and a calendar?
A calendar has dates.
Suck on my big fat ding dong, you idiot!
You call your dad the sun because he is 90 million miles away.
Your hairline is so bad when you need a role model who has been having a tough life, you go to your barber.
Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head.