You jokes

"You're really hot, I wanna hit on you like the plane hit the Twin Towers."

Bligitty blot, bliggity blit,

You better not be talkin' shit. 🔫

The first child, Daisy, asks her mother why she is named Daisy. The mother said, "That's because a daisy fell on your head when you were born."

The second child, Raindrop, asked why he is named Raindrop, and the mother said, "That's because a drop of rain fell on your head when you were born."

Then the third child, Cinderblock, said, "fxg,kxf dsdsvtg,hjer,btjh,rbtsvikvsdtxde43f."

My friend Liam has a hairline [if you can even call it a hairline] so bad it keeps going back for miles.

Plastic bags look like you, dirty and fake.

What do you call a parent that is pregnant?

Buy one, get one free.

Roses are red, violets are blue, she's only red bc she sucked you.

Sister: You're so stupid.

Me: Calling me stupid doesn't make you any smarter!

The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.

Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.

I hate it when I go to the shop and people are like, "Oh, hey what are you doing here?"

Me: "Oh, you know, just hunting elephants."

I can't believe this!

Pizza is round and it comes in a square box, and you cut it into a triangle.

Confusion life question!!!

* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?

What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower?

Unemployed.

A king ordered to execute a gay man.

The gay man came and said, "Please don't behead me, have pity!" The king replied, "I will have pity because I will impale you, let you enjoy your last moments."

Q: How do you know if an Asian broke into your house?

A: All your homework and the Rubik's cube you spent a year on and still can’t solve is solved. 🤓🤓🤓🤓

What do you call a pole dancer?

A stripper.

When your mama went to Sea World, the whales started singing, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me!"

What do you call an Asian that was born too early?

Wong Tai Ming.

Yo, hairline go so far back that your dad found it before you did.

You know what's the difference between my basement and Chick-fil-A?

A lot of things.