You jokes
Your hairline is so far back your dad had to go find it for you.
When your girlfriend has been vomiting for 2 weeks and you find out she’s not pregnant.
Bf-*yes I knew it was a prank*
She has cancer.
How do you punish a blind person?
Hand them a gun and tell them it’s a hairdryer.
What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say when you leave?
"Thanks for coming. Hope you come again soon."
I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia.
She whispered, "They're right behind you!"
Your mum stinks of disabled people.
Wanna know why?
I don't know either, you tell me.
When you accidentally turn in your suicide note instead of your essay to the teacher, but she still gives you an A.
What word starts with n and ends with r and you wouldn’t wanna call a Black person?
You really thought n****r, didn't you?
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.
What starts with S and ends with S? STUPID HOMEWORK NEVER ENDS.
What starts with C and ends with K? Children do not cook.
What did you think I was going to say? How bold of you to assume.
You're so ugly that when One Direction saw you, they went the OTHER direction!
Roses are red... Violets are blue... I feel like I'm gonna get raped next to you.
Why is reverse cowgirl banned in Alabama? Because you never turn your back on family.
Yo mama so fat I can see where you got in from now.
Judge to the defendant: "Defendant, do you have a criminal record?"
"No."
"Have you always been honest?"
"No, never been caught!"
I had a steering wheel down my pants, and I tell you what, it was driving my balls crazy!
Why don't you see black people with Down syndrome?
Because God doesn't punish someone twice.
Everyone: You gotta pay the cost to be the boss.
Germans: You gotta be the caust to be the boss.
What do you get when you cross a dick and a potato?
A dictator.
Your hairline is so far back, just like your dad is from you.