You jokes
Did you hear about the broken guitar for sale?
It comes with no strings attached.
Did you hear about the bossy man at the bar? He ordered everyone around.
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener.
How can you tell when a comic passes gas? Something smells funny.
What should you do to prevent dry skin? Use a towel.
What do you give the dentist of the year? A little plaque.
How do you cook an alligator? With a croc-pot.
What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you.
Did you hear about the cat that ate a lemon? Now it's a sourpuss.
How do you get a squirrel's attention? Act like a nut.
Did you hear about the guy who drank invisible ink? He's at the hospital waiting to be seen.
Have you ever had a bad sausage? It's the wurst.
Did you hear about the guy who was afraid of hurdles? He got over it.
How can you tell if a pig is hot? It's bacon.
What did the boy say to his fingers? I'm counting on you.
How many apples can you grow on a tree? All of them.
Did you hear about the roofer who went to the doctor? He had shingles.
Do you know why dinosaurs can't eat hyenas?
Because they're dead! The last thing they ate was some rock.
What is the worst thing your sibling can steal from you?
Your virginity.
How do you know if you’ve walked into a sex addicts' counselling session?
The psychologist will thank you for coming.