What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler!
You Jokes
How did I know where you would go next?
Oh, I felt it in my bones!
A 13 year old girl is having a sleepover. One of her friends asks, "When was the last time you had an orgasm?" She replies, "3 days ago." Dad comes bursting in, "I KNEW YOU WERE FAKING LAST NIGHT!"
I wish you guys all died.
Where would you take Stephen Hawking if he dies, the funeral directors or PC World?
What do you call a pessimistic Mexican?
A Mexican't.
How do you tell when a blonde just lost her virginity?
Her crayons are still wet.
Man's got that big bati, you know.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.
What do you call a stupid turtle?
Retorted.
You guys should be ashamed of yourselves, making fun of the disabled. After all, they can't stand up for themselves.
I was going to tell you a cow joke...
But it's pasture bed time.
How do you start an Ethiopian rave?
Stick toast to the ceiling.
What's the similarity between women and car parking spaces? The good ones are always taken, and sometimes when nobody's looking, you slip in the disabled one.
What do you do after you eat the softest pussy in the world?
Put the diapers back on.
If Stephen Hawking has a heart attack, do you take him to Halfords or A&E?
How can you tell when a cabbage is boiled?
The wheelchair floats to the top.
A drunk man walked out of a bar and kept falling flat on his face. He wondered why this was until his wife spoke to him:
Wife: "Why is your face all bloody?"
Husband: "I was so drunk that I couldn't stand up, so I kept falling on my face!"
Wife: "Idiot. You left your wheelchair at the bar!"
How do you make 7 an even number? Take the "s" out!
A pedophile is chatting on the internet: "On a scale of one to ten, how old are you?"